Why Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Throwing These Particular Royal Rules Out the Window

This duchess can't resist stealing a kiss from her prince charming. And she wears pants, too, thank you very much.

By Sarah Grossbart Jul 31, 2018 10:00 AMTags
Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Royal Wedding, ReceptionSteve Parsons/PA Wire

Meghan Markle is nothing if not a dedicated pupil. 

As a student at Northwestern University, she tackled a double major in both theater and international studies. As a working actress, she honed in on the more technical details of her job, making sure to always find her light, thanks to the lessons once imparted by her lighting director father Thomas Markle. And as an activist she took the time to become well-versed on the inner workings of each organization she teamed with. When she visited Mumbai-based Myna Mahila Foundation, an organization dedicated to improving menstrual hygiene, for instance, "She came in and learned everything from scratch," founder Suhani Jalota recently told People, "and then she backed that up with evidence that she knew and had researched."

Meghan Markle's Best Looks

Now she's turning that drive to her forever gig. As the newest member of The Firm, the name the younger royals have imbued on their family, it's her job to serve as an official patron of the royal foundation alongside husband Prince Harry, find her own causes to champion and make appearances on behalf of Queen Elizabeth II. And it's crucial that she do it all proper like, obeying the lengthy list of dos and don'ts that come with the title. Some of the rules required easy switches, say trading out dark nail polish for the Queen's favorite neutral, Essie's Ballet Slippers, but others, presumably some of the more old-fashioned edicts, she's bristled at.

Meghan, a source told People, "has found certain rules in the royal household difficult to understand, like the fact that the Queen prefers women in dresses or skirts rather than trouser suits, and is often asking Harry why things have to be done a certain way. I think she finds it a little frustrating at times, but this is her new life, and she has to deal with it."

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Though, of course, some rules are meant to be broken. And if Meghan is the one, as some believe, destined to modernize the monarchy, she seems intent on starting with some of the more outdated parts of protocol. Take, for instance, the idea that royals are meant to keep public displays of affection to a minimum. For Prince William and wife Kate Middleton, that means indulging in a little light knee grazing every now and then, but Meghan, who held tight to Harry as they made their first public appearance at the 2017 Invictus Games, has made it clear she intends to be more hands-on. 

And just a little mouthy. At last week's Sentebale Polo Cup, on the heels of her surprise decision to link arms with Harry in Prince Louis' christening portrait, the duchess doled out both the trophy to her husband's team and a congratulatory kiss. The smooch wasn't without precedence—after all, Harry's late mother Princess Diana kissed then-spouse Prince Charles during a 1987 trophy presentation—but it was Meghan's most bold statement yet and a clear indication she intends to keep the romance in her royal relationship. 

"While Prince Harry and Meghan holding hands is atypical for royal engagements, it is a seemingly welcomed gesture to show unity and celebration of their engagement period," royal etiquette expert Myka Meier, founder and director of Beaumont Etiquette, told People. "There is no protocol that says they can not show affection on official engagements, and this gesture makes them relatable and lovable to the public."

And if the fans like that, they're sure to love the duo's other small acts of rebellion. For instance... 


1. Voicing political opinions: Technically, it was a mistake. Royals simply aren't meant to show their cards when it comes to dicey political terrain. That's why Kate wore green to this winter's BAFTA Awards rather than don black in solidarity with the Time's Up movement (though she did tie her Jenny Packham with a black ribbon) and why it was such a big deal when Meghan's dad claimed Harry was "open to the experiment" that was England extricating itself from the European Union.  

So while Meghan can give a nod toward her views, proclaiming she's proud to be a woman and a feminist on her page of the official monarchy website, and anyone paying just a modicum of attention can fill in the rest, she really shouldn't have indicated to Irish senator Catherine Noone that she was pleased to see the country overturn a law that banned abortion. Though, in her defense, she probably didn't think Noone would tweet the exchange out to her 8,000-plus followers. "That's an example of her naïveté," The Crown historical consultant and royal biographer Robert Lacey told People of the slip at a July 10 garden party. "Within the royal family they talk freely, and everyone knows the rules. She's learning the hard way that you can't trust anyone outside the narrow circle." 

That being said, she certainly knew people were listening when she took the mic at the first-ever Royal Foundation Forum this winter and delivered her viewpoints on the current social climate. "I hear a lot of people speaking about girls' empowerment and women's empowerment; you will hear people saying they are helping women find their voices. I fundamentally disagree with that because women don't need to find their voices, they need to be empowered to use it and people need to be urged to listen," she shared at the Feb. 28 event. "I think right now in the climate we're seeing with so many campaigns, with #MeToo and Time's Up, there's no better time than to really continue to shine a light on women feeling empowered and people really helping to support them—men included in that."

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2. Showing some skin: While Meghan ditched her old hemlines along with her commoner status, she did dare to bare a hint of (gasp!) shoulder at her Trooping the Colour debut in June. The look drew some expected criticism as the more modestly dressed Kate has always worn sleeves past her elbow at the annual summer celebration of the Queen's birthday. But Meghan's more ardent supporters approved of the blush Carolina Herrera skirt suit and the touch of rebellion. 

"We loved that she was still very much Meghan while also still embracing her role as the Duchess of Sussex," Amanda Dishaw of Meghan's Mirror told E! News. "Meghan's new role in the Royal Family is one that she's carving out for herself—and seeing her skirt some of the unspoken rules of royal fashion (such as baring shoulders and clavicles) on the balcony at Buckingham Palace is just one of the ways she's figuring out how to blend her personal style with the role in which she now occupies."

Besides, she had already wriggled into pantyhose, what more do you expect? 

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3. Letting Meghan wear the pants: Sorry, Queen Elizabeth. Disapprove all you want, but Meghan isn't letting go of her sleek pant suits so easily. Having worn trousers for her first official engagement with Harry back in December, she donned an Alexander McQueen number to February's Endeavour Fund Awards and a Givenchy suit while visiting Ireland

But according to royal commentator Victoria Arbiter, Meghan's not skirting around any hard-and-fast rules. Kate has certainly worn pants in the past when the situation called for them (say, playing field hockey or leading a cub scout meeting) and Diana, Arbiter noted to Harper's Bazaar, "wore a tuxedo suit on several occasions." Instead, it appears to be a standard the monarch has set for herself as she hasn't been seen in pants at an official engagement since 1970. As such, it's "believed that one does not wear trousers when one is with the Queen for an official event," royal expert Marlene Koenig told the site. 

Until then, however, Meghan seems keen to keep suiting up. 

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4. Going hands-free: While one would imagine a duchess doesn't have all that much to tote (there are aides and ladies-in-waiting for that), a purse is a crucial tool in a royals' arsenal. The Queen reportedly uses her handbag to signal to her staff when she'd like to wrap up a convo (or even an event!) while Diana used hers to shield herself from unflattering photos. 

And neither has ever slung their purse across their body as Meghan is wont to do. The reason: having to hold onto a clutch with both hands allows them to avoid shaking hands with certain people as protocol dictates the member of the royal family must extend their arm first. 

Chris Jackson/Chris Jackson/Getty Images

5. Getting personal: Of course, one could surmise that Meghan isn't interested in dodging excess contact. In fact, she's been known to skip right over the more proper handshake in favor of a hug, much like her husband and his late mother. 

"She's got her own way of doing things," Grant Harrold, former royal butler to Harry and William, told E! News of Meghan. "You look at the energy of Princess Diana and she was very much somebody that would hug people. She was famous for it."

Still, Meghan is careful not to outright break the more firmly established royal rules. When she encountered a young fan with an autograph book during a January outing in Wales, she didn't hesitate to jot out a message. But instead of scrawling out her name as she has doubtlessly done for Suits fans in the past (autographs are strictly forboden because there's a risk it could be copied and forged), the quick-thinking former actress wrote "Hi Kaitlin," adding a heart and smiley face. 

6. Really personal: It's not unheard of for a member of The Firm to pose for the cover of an upscale mag. Kate had her close up in British Vogue, while Harry was snapped for Town & Country. But Meghan's candidness in the October 2017 issue of Vanity Fair made royal watchers gasp. Such professions of adoration are generally reserved for the one-time-only engagement sit-down and Meghan was proclaiming they were "two people who are really happy and in love," weeks before Harry would offer up a three-stone ring. 

But the couple had no qualms about being trailblazers. A source told E! News at the time, "Both Meghan and Harry are really happy with how the Vanity Fair feature turned out. The photos are gorgeous and [photographer Peter] Lindbergh's office sent copies of the set to Meghan as a gift. She's thrilled."


7. Doing marriage their way: Much was made about how Meghan and Harry personalized their May 19 vows, asking an American baker to whip up a lemon elderflower confection rather than the traditional fruitcake and tapping The Most Rev. Michael Bruce Curry—a native of Chicago and the first black presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church—to deliver an impassioned sermon about the redemptive power of love. 

But two of the more telling arrangements came from the pair themselves. First, was Harry's choice to even pick out a platinum wedding band. While the palace has said the decision to don a wedding ring is a "personal preference," neither his father, grandfather or even his brother have slipped one on the fourth finger of their left hand—a common choice amongst the aristocratic set. (Charles does wear a signet ring, although it's on his pinky finger.) Penny Junor, author of The Duchess, opined to Vogue that his choice "shows, as if proof were needed, that Harry is the least conventional member of the royal familyHarry's chosen to do what most married men do today. I like it."

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Royal Wedding Day Photos

And then there was Meghan's much-hyped walk down the aisle. Even before her dad bowed out due to his heart condition, Meghan planned to fly solo for the first half of her trip down the aisle of St. George's Chapel, making her the first royal bride in British history to enter her ceremony without a father figure at her side. 

The plan, unsurprisingly, was all her own. 

Because why shouldn't a proud feminist, who once wrote about her desire to push through glass ceilings, stand on her own two Givenchy-clad feet? 

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