ruining poundage. And excuse us, but how the hell is any of this tacky-ass nonsense any diff from when Britney and K-Schmuck, on their wedding night, went clubbing with "pimp" and “ho” plastered on the backs of their windbreakers?
Folks are expecting B to have some kinda Whitney-esque, class-ay return to popular love? Right. And thank highly rated heavens. B-babe’s back-to-the-boob-tube hypefest only lasted about a week or two, as opposed to endless months had our gal decided she wanted to star in the next Star Trek flick. Most of B.S.’s HIMYM reviews as the slightly bonkers tattoo-removal doc's receptionist have been golf-clap polite: “Hey, everyone! She didn’t vomit on camera or start crying midsentence! Way to go, Brit!”
Sorry, Spearsy, but we aren't exactly known for patting mediocrity on the back and handing it a cookie. Your weave has been worse, fer sure (tho' we can’t say the same for your lack of comic timing), but it still looked unsightly next to your perfectly sitcom groomed costars. And after your total of two minutes onscreen, we were left scratchin’ our craniums wondering why ya took this tiny part to begin with? The role seemed destined for a no-name actress trying to get a SAG card rather than for the world’s most famous entity. The real winner of the night, besides CBS and its ridiculously roof crashing ratings, was Sarah Chalke, who stood out with the best scenes. We’re certain this funny femme’s got nothing to worry about once her Scrubs are taken off.
“At the moment, Flight of the Conchords.”
—Simon says (which means you better watch this kooky Kiwi show)
“I love pretty much everything Tracy Morgan says on 30 Rock...Alec Baldwin is right up there with him.”
—Last Comic Standing’s Doug Benson
“Simon.”
—Friends alum and Fat Boy director David Schwimmer, who must only have eyes for (his) actors
“Farts. Lately, farts. I go through cycles where I don’t find farts funny, but then I do find them funny. It’s a perennial favorite.”
—Stella’s sketch writer and all-around immature man-child, Michael Ian Black