Nicole Kidman is opening up about the "aching yearning" she went through after suffering a miscarriage during her marriage to ex Tom Cruise.
The Oscar winner, who was married to Cruise from 1990 to 2001, is discussing her personal and professional life in a candid new interview for the July issue of Tatler. Kidman appears on the cover of the edition, and in the accompanying interview, she talks about her heartbreaking miscarriage that occurred towards the end of her relationship with Cruise.
"I know the yearning. That yearning. It's a huge, aching yearning. And the loss! The loss of a miscarriage is not talked about enough. That's massive grief to certain women. There's an enormous amount of pain and an enormous amount of joy on the other side of it," Kidman says. "The flipside of going through so much yearning and pain to get there is the feeling of 'Ahhhh!' when you have the child."
Kidman had previously discussed her miscarriage in a 2007 interview with Marie Claire.
"I had a miscarriage at the end of my marriage, but I had an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of my marriage," she revealed. "It was incredibly traumatic for me. Sometimes you share your grief."
During Kidman and Cruise's marriage, the duo adopted their two children, Connor Cruise and Isabella Cruise.
Five years after her divorce from Cruise, Kidman went on to marry Keith Urban, with whom she has two daughters with.
The Big Little Lies star, who will turn 51 in June, also opens up to Tatler about her very successful year.
"Yeah, 50 was a good year, I never thought that year would have brought so many triumphs, I suppose," she shares. "Actually, it was just serendipity and a confluence of events. The one thing that did change is that both my kids were in school, and I was able to focus on my own life a little bit more, just because, you know, I'd got them through those pre-school years when you're barely hanging on [and] it's hard to get out of the sweatpants."
Kidman plays the character of Celeste Wright in the HBO series, a woman who viewers saw involved in an abusive marriage in season one.
"You have to delve into parts where you go, OK, what's the truth of this character? We had to be really honest," Kidman says. "You're playing love, but you're playing love that is so damaging to each of the people. I would come home and cry after doing Big Little Lies. I would cry alone. I would sit and I would have a bath and cry. And feel very distressed and not know exactly what to do about it."
To read more from Kidman's interview, check out the July issue of Tatler, available now; via newstands and digital download.