Let Them Eat Me

In today's Blind Vice, which "straight" Tinseltown performer's the latest to be a naughty gay boy in public, and is Paris getting some preferential Hollywood treatment? Say it ain't so! (If you don't mind lying as much as Star Jones Reynolds does.) Plus, ferociously romanced femmes in H'wood are actually a bit worried about Kristen Bell's new love sitch, ouch!

So, what’s Milo Ventimiglia doing in his downtime since Heroes has shut down because of the strike? He’s off flying jets, doing movies and hosting parties...sounds like Paris’ life, no? Milo was the hottie host with the most at the one-year anniversary party for Nissan Live Sets Tuesday night at Fox Studios.

“I got to fly an F16,” he told us in between taking pics and chatting with party guests. “It was f--king unbelievable! We did loops and flips and everything.” Apparently, Milo used to have Air Force aspirations but decided to act instead. Let us tell you, Milo may be a little on the short side, but he’s super cutie-patootie in person and quite charismatic. We totally get why Hayden’s (supposedly) so into him.

Oh, speaking of that diminutive diva, who lives to bark that she ain’t with the dude at all, she wasn’t making the scene at this par-tick party. But another blondie babe certainly was: Paris Hilton. The gal’s finally back from Asia and making her rounds on the social scene. She arrived with a brunette gal-pal and quickly made a beeline for the bar by the stage, where Matchbox Twenty was set to perform later that night.

Only problem was, said bar was shutting down for the night. Oh, the inhumanity of it all! The girl’s just come back into town from jet-setting all over Asia and missing a typical T-Day dinner with her fam, and now she can’t even get a drink? Poor thing.

But—quelle surprise—the bar made an exception for P and her pal. P-poo ordered shots of Jack Daniels and glasses of Coke to chase the liquor as she texted on her über-blinged-out BlackBerry. Other guests who were waiting patiently for their libations behind Paris were told the bar was closed, even though the heiress had just been served in plain sight of everyone.

So, even though it seems Paris still gets preferential treatment from Tinseltown bartenders (jail sympathy?), we do have to point out one major flaw: Ms. H's fashion. See, the careless heiress was wearing a dark blue tunic, black tights and a cropped leather jacket, an outfit almost identical to what she wore for a date with her model boy-toy the night before. We know you’re trying to turn over a new ladylike leaf, girlfriend, but frankly, we expect a little more of your couture choices, especially when you’ve been out of the country for eons. Don’t let us down next time.

Tabs are also talkin' about another new possible coupling besides Jess ‘n’ Tony: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. First, they were spotted makin' lusty eyes at each other at the opening of Koi in Vegas. Later on, they were snapped havin' sushi at Katsuya back here in Hollywood. Since they're both recently single and fresh off relationships, we're gonna predict this is just a little rebound fling. Although we do hear Dax is fairly well equipped and rather kinky, so perhaps he might be able to keep Kristen around?

And if you’re wondering precisely just what kind of equipment we’re referring to, well, we have two things to say:

1. Former known princesses (he only likes 'em semifamous or famous, trust) the Daxster’s been into, in one way or another, have contacted us, and they’re hoping Kristen is, um, up for the unusual boudoir challenge.

2. Think Great Dane, not miniature greyhound.

Oh, and as long as we’re gabbin’ dawgs, just want to mention that Britney Spears’ canine troubles may not be quite over. Remember when the gal who doesn’t exactly treat her human kiddies all that great was investigated for her ridiculously overpriced, injured Yorkie? The SPCA cleared Spears at the time.

But B-babe may not be so cleared after all. Oh dear, Brit-Brit, is this the reason all that "preggers with a J.R. Rotem embryo" stuff (which, in between red-light runnin', you deny) is goin’ round right now, to get folks’ minds off the increasingly hot-button issue of animal rights? Who the ef knows with you, g-friend, but regardless, you’re off the hook till Monday, which is when we’ll get back to this potentially stink-o sitch, sorry, everybody. First, much more important, we have an impossibly delish ‘n’ skanky horndog to get to, trust.

Oh my, what same-sex shenanigans has Toothy Tile inspired this time? No no no, not with the Tooth terrible himself; yet another famous Hollywood star is out there getting his cojones off in seedy public places. What’s a faithful TV fan to do? Turn a Blind Vice eye? Well, you decide, darlings!