All together now: Who?!
It's one of our two favorite days of the TV year (Sorry, other 263 days!): The new cast for Dancing With the Stars has been announced! And in season 26, the ABC reality hit is giving us a new twist. The 10 competitors are all athletes, meaning the competition and self-imposed pressure will likely be even more intense!
The DWTS: Athletes line-up was unveiled on Good Morning America this morning, and in keeping with tradition, we asked five random people—a DWTS super-fan, a web designer, a former entertainment reporter, a college sophomore and a clueless Brooklynite just doing his best—if they had any idea who the 10 sports stars were.
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh, he was in the Olympics! Is he an ice skater?
Web Designer: The Olympic figure skater!
College Sophomore: I think he is a professional fencer. Reminds me of the "riposte" position in swordfighting. Just a convenient thing that happened.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Twitter's boyfriend. Oh, and also a figure skater.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: Dances with pre-rippon'd pants so there's no confusion. Baseball?
Who He Really Is: One of the breakout stars of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games, the 28-year-old figure skater (who was one of the first openly gay U.S. male athletes to ever qualify) is dating now Jussi-Pekka Kajaala thanks to Tinder, was wooed by Sally Field on behalf of her son and has plans to hang out with Reese Witherspoon.
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh my god! OH MY GOD! (Ed's Note: this was an impersonation of Nancy Kerrigan apparently.) I didn't think she was that great of a skater.
Web Designer: Ice skating! Yes, I know who she is. I didn't watch the movie. I lived through it, though.
College Sophomore: I feel like I've heard that name before, almost. I'm gonna say that she's an MMA fighter. She doesn't get knocked out, but she takes punches easy.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Former figure skater and the subject of my 90s obsession (those bangs!). I so loved her over Nancy Kerrigan, in case anyone wondered where I stood with that.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: Honestly nice, just misunderstood. Figure skating!
Who She Really Is: The former figure skater became infamous after the 1994 attack on Nancy Kerrigan (who competed on DWTS in season 24), that resulted in her being banned from U.S. figure skating. A movie about her life, I, Tonya, recently brought her back into the spotlight, with Margot Robbie being nominated for her portrayal of Harding.
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh my god, basketball player! How old is he?!
Web Designer: Basketball! He's on this season? Isn't he really old?
College Sophomore: He plays basketball and he's the best. He's also the tallest man in the world, which is why he's so good at basketball.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Basketball legend. Also, he once did a TV special with New Kids on the Block. Look it up.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: I'm the co-pilot. Basketball.
Who He Really Is: After 20 seasons in the NBA six-time Most Valuable Player wins, Abdul-Jabbar is considered one of the best players in the history of basketball. Now 70, Abdul-Jabbar now serves as guest culture critic for The Hollywood Reporter. (He has a lot of thoughts about The Bachelor franchise!) And in 2016, he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Barack Obama.
DWTS Super-Fan: Is he a Yankee?
Web Designer: Uh, also figure skating? All my answers are super racist.
College Sophomore: OK, so she's a figure skater. Was that correct? I'm amazing, I know.
Former Entertainment Reporter: She's a figure skater. But I admit, I only knew that because Twitter was obsessed with her, too. I should get off Twitter and go outside, basically.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: Diver?
Who She Really Is: The 24-year-old figure skater is the first American woman to ever land a triple axel at the Olympics. She's best friends with Adam Rippon.
DWTS Super-Fan: A basketball player?
Web Designer: Snowboarding? I've never heard that name before in my life, I also didn't watch the Olympics.
College Sophomore: He's a golfer.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Sports ball?
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: Mazzer Bedazzler. Skiing?
Who He Really Is: The 29-year-old is an Olympic luger, winning the silver in the 2018 games.
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh, he's a baseball player. He played for Boston then to the Yankees and then left or something?
Web Designer: Oh! I know the name, I have no idea what he does. Is he a golfer?
College Sophomore: Is race car driving a sport? Johnny Damon is the newest and hottest American F1 driver. He's a hotshot. He doesn't know when to slow down.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Someone has to be a baseball player. This one?
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: From caveman to business casual. Baseball.
Who He Really Is: Before retiring in 2012, Damon, 44, played for the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, winning two World Series rings during his 17-year career in the MLB.
Jennie Finch Daigle
DWTS Super-Fan: I don't know, skier?!
Web Designer: Uh, are they all Winter Olympics? I don't know. Tennis?
College Sophomore: She does curling in Canada. It's definitely possible that she is a curler for Daigle's Bagels, which is what they call the curling team because the rock kind of looks like a bagel. Some kind of winter sport. She's definitely Canadian.
Former Entertainment Reporter: She's a really hot softball player.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: We are getting rid of your second last name b/c me trying to pronounce it is embarrassing. Hockey?
Who She Really Is: The 37-year-old is a former pitcher from Team USA's softball team, and retired in 2010. After marrying Casey Daigle in 2005, the couple has gone on to welcome three children.
DWTS Super-Fan: No clue. I'll guess…was he in the Olympics?
Web Designer: Nope. Football? I have no idea.
College Sophomore: He's a baseball player. He comes from a long line of baseballers, the Norman family ball dynasty.
Former Entertainment Reporter: An NFL player but I don't know which team because unless they were on my fantasy football team, I rarely keep them all straight.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: This is the most normal name I have ever heard, he must Curl. Curling?
Who He Really Is: The 30-year-old is a cornerback for the Washington Redskins, and is considered one of the best in the league.
DWTS Super-Fan: A softball player?
Web Designer: I literally have nothing to say. Is it an actor? Runner?
College Sophomore: She's a women's soccer player for Argentina. And she was basically just pushed into soccer because her name was so hard to pronounce that she couldn't work anywhere else really.
Former Entertainment Reporter: The Notre Dame basketball player that CRUSHED that last second shot! Honestly, ABC should just play that clip every week and I'd vote for her every single time.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: Is this name slang for "Yo, we're going bowling!"? Basketball.
Who She Really Is: Since leading the Notre Dame's basketball team to a NCAA championship in early April, the junior has appeared on Ellen, made the cover of Sports Illustrated and saw her social media followers explode by over 200 percent.
DWTS Super-Fan: No clue. Is it a man or a woman? Female basketball player.
Web Designer: I feel like I should know that. Is she a snowboarder?
College Sophomore: Volleyball. She worked really hard to get there because she has such a generic name.
Former Entertainment Reporter: I'm guessing an Olympian who is in way better shape than me.
Clueless Brooklynite Does His Best: Is this the really pretty one from Sochi? Snowboarding?
Who She Really Is: The Olympic snowboarder has taken home a total of 11 medals, and is dating Canadian snowboarder Tyler Nicholson, a fellow Olympian.
Dancing With the Stars: Athletes premieres Monday, April 30, at 8 p.m. on ABC.