The Young and the Brainless

By Ted Casablanca Aug 15, 2007 12:26 PMTags
Toothy Tile gets bold with boy-on-boy action in a flaming fagola environ, while Britney continues to paint the town trashy and risk losing Mother of the Year! Plus, which H'wood hot spot is all the rage with the underaged?
•  Congrats to Janice Min for her $2.5 mil deal to stay at Us Weekly’s helm for another stint—can’t say I’m surprised, after the petite editrix told me she’d essentially sell her sycophantic soul to get a superinside pic of TomKat. Enjoy slobbering all over Tommy-poo, hon, couldn’t have happened to a nicer Chanel-suited chica!

•  My most fave Blind Vice boy, Toothy Tile, is getting braver ‘n’ braver: He just hit a gay enclave in Hell-Ay last week, openly doing his b-f, who, by the by, is not at all who everybody thinks he is. Keep up the frolickin’, by all means.

Dan Herrick-KPA/ZUMApress.com

•  While Joe Francis continues, from jail in Nevada, to berate Hugh Hefner for not defending his soft-core pornography peddling (J.F. considers H.H. a bro-in-free-speech-arms, as it were), he nevertheless enjoys ordering in his cheeseburgers from the outside world. But don’t tell Paris, whatever ya do, she’ll be pissed, fer sure.

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMA Press

•  “Ice-cold” came the latest quote directly to yours truly from an Oprah worker bee, regarding how said (fairly high up) O.W. employee finds her boss. I swear, ever since I ran that original item about a program guest who told me he found my hero, Oprah, to be so damn cold, people have been bitchin’ outta the e-woodwork, saying they agree—and then some. Say it isn’t so, O!

•  And yes, I’m saving the best—and most predictable, agreed—bullet for last: In reference to a story I’ve previously discussed (broken, actually, but who’s being pissy?), the Bushes continue to live publicly together but privately apart. Sources from the prez retreat of Camp David insist to moi that Laura has not been with her imbibing-again hubby for several recent stays. I’m only the messenger here, so save your party-loyal vile for Hillary Clinton’s stylist, all you nasty Republican emailers who crucify me every time I report this divisive sitch.

James Devaney/WireImage.com
Britney Spears isn’t about to let a little thing like her ex-hub-unit Kevin Federline filing for more custody of their kids stop her from partying! (Don't be fooled by B's recent kiddie-in-tow outing, so for show!) You’re smoking something Whitney Houston claims she doesn’t, if you think otherwise. Now, the club-hoppin’ mama with the leastest hit Winston’s here in Hell-Ay on Friday night, just two days after K-Fed filed for 70-30 custody—and one day before he served B.S.’ ubiquitous sidekick, Alli Sims, with deposition papers.
INFphoto.com

Of course, Alli was by Brit’s side at the bar on Friday night, where the two were sucking lollipops, natch, and carrying water bottles, as I'm sure you've heard. Does Brit think she’s going to an Ecstasy rave, or something? She’s certainly carrying all of the perfect accessories for same lately.

Once inside Winston’s, sober witnesses say they saw the ma of Sean Preston and Jayden James drinking up a storm, per usual. When is Brit gonna get it through her poorly coiffured head? Now, more than ever, the Taco Bell babe needs to stay home with her sons, quit hitting every bar, club and hot spot in sight and prove herself a competent parent if she thinks she has a chance of keeping her boys.

But then I’ve always been a fan of those who do precisely as they’re not supposed to do. Uh, it’s just that you’re guaranteeing Sean and Jayden to have about as loving and supportive  an upbringing as you did, Ms. Es. Or is that the point here?

Eva Mendes, dropping beaucoup bucks on Sunday at Diavolina on Robertson. Eva-babe was lookin’ casual yet put together in white wide-leg pants, big-butt shades and scarf in her coif, too bad no paps were around to snap—Britney she sure ain't. Store spies saw Eva paying for her own purchases (who knew?), which totaled more than $1,000. Way to shop, sister! The Latina looker wasn’t wearing lotsa makeup, the same way I see her at the gym (totally unlike, say, Dina Lohan). On a pricey shopping spree in the same city was…

Steven Tyler, buyin’ goods for his crib. The Aerosmith crooner spent $6,000 on two Artists and Prostitutes coffee-table books from famed photog David LaChapelle and lamps at Ron Robinson, in Fred Segal on Melrose. Liv’s papa was shopping solo and admiring the way pricey decor items, like he couldn’t afford to buy the whole damn place, already. Wonder who he’s sprucing up his bachelor pad for with such expensive goodies? New hon in his life, perhaps? Speaking of famous-fam action, let’s check in with…
Rumer Willis, infiltrating Winston’s Friday night. The underaged gal must have snuck in the back door or something, eh? Either that, or being a celeb’s spawn supercedes laws, who knew? Demi’s eldest daughter was perched on a banquette, texting on her PDA and talkin’ to Freddy Rodriguez. New romance? Definitely not, as Freddy’s, uh, already married. Other famous faces in the same spot Saturday included a newly legal Shia LaBeouf and 20-year-old Rihanna, who I'm sure wasn't being served. Nevertheless, don’t tell the LAPD! Of-age couples celebrating in another enclave included...
Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com

Stacy Keibler and Geoff Stults, attending a wedding in Santa Barbara. The tall 'n’ blinding-toothed twosome are apparently still going strong, as they were spotted sucking tongues ‘n’ such during the nuptials of Geoff’s agent. Stacy was in a yellow frock, pretty enough, with Geoff semiboring in a beige suit. Both babes had on sunglasses, natch, to remind the hoi polloi that they’re sorta kinda semiknown. Wonder if these two are planning their own union anytime soon?

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