Well, it's here.
Big Brother: Celebrity Edition has officially started and we're not quite sure what to make of it yet. We definitely didn't expect the first ten minutes to involve a strange Big Time Rush vs. Sugar Ray fight about vocals, or to be as bothered by James Maslow as we were. Of all the "celebs" in that house, we took issue with the Nickelodeon kid?!
We only fully realized we were rooting against James when it was down to him and Shannon Elizabeth in the Head of Household challenge, which forced the houseguests to hold onto giant statues in the air while being pelted with all manner of things: water, makeup, paint, an awkward off-off-off Broadway musical led by former houseguest Paul Abrahamian...
Of course, the most automatically interesting houseguest was Omarosa, and either Julie Chen is great at lying about numbers or it was just a complete coincidence that the former Apprentice/White House star was deemed safe from eviction this week. Given the fact that all the women rallied around her and the fact that we immediately decided we were Team All the Women, this was a weirdly good thing.
We even enjoyed her commentary from the ground as James was trying to make deals as he slipped down the statue. What a complicated relationship we have with this woman!
In the end, James fell spectacularly, and Shannon Elizabeth was named first Head of Household. It was beautiful.
But then, as expected, Julie had a twist.
Each celeb got a gift bag, and some of those gift bags simply contain Big Brother swag. Other gift bags contain the power to recast Head of Household, but we'll have to wait to see how that plays out in tomorrow's episode.
We'll also have to wait to find out if this all-women alliance works out, because it never, ever does on this show. Is it weird that we've got faith in Omarosa and Marissa Jaret Winokur? How do we already care? How are we already rooting for and against people?
We're clearly invested, but the real question is will we still be invested after 13 episodes over two and a half weeks? TBD.
Big Brother: Celebrity Edition airs Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays at 8 p.m. on CBS.