Take Dead Alive, Evil Dead and From Dusk Till Dawn, toss 'em in a blender and hit "mutilate." What you end up with is Feast, a sloppy monster mishmash, courtesy of Project Greenlight's third season.

At a seedy Cheers in the middle of the desert (so there's no cell reception, natch), a bunch of barflies fight for their lives when a family of flesh-eating creatures goes on the attack. Saloon patrons include the usual suspects--the nubile waitress, the crusty bartender, the cocky pool hustler, the boozy broad, etc. The film has fun introducing each with random factoids, including their "life expectancy."

But gore fans may be disappointed in the subsequent battles between sketchily drawn characters and whatever these animal-skin-wearing things are supposed to be, as splatter scenes get muddied with choppy shots and frenzied editing.

Worse, the tone-shifting script never clarifies its horror movie rules. Are these Feast beasts intelligent (as stated, but never demonstrated) and out for revenge or just mindless eating machines? If the predators can procreate within mere minutes (which we learn from seeing 'em do the nasty), why don't they screw their way to a bigger brood? Does daylight kill these critters or what? And can you get them wet and feed them after midnight? Oh, wait...

Don't look for logic here--or much else, except a few humorous lines and a couple of decent monster-baiting scenes. What should have been a bloody feast for the senses is just a bloody senseless Feast.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share