Harry Styles' Opening Monologue on The Late Late Show Has Dad Jokes Galore

Donald Trump and Pirates of the Caribbean get mocked on the late-night show

By Zach Johnson May 17, 2017 12:45 PMTags

So this is what it looks like when Harry Styles and James Corden trade places.

The 23-year-old "Sign of the Times" singer kicked off his second consecutive night on CBS' The Late Late Show Tuesday with an opening monologue about pop culture topics, mentioning President Donald Trump and the piracy of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. After quieting the crowd, he said, "Let's do what we do every night and talk about the news."

"Of course, the big story of tonight is that Donald Trump shared secret information with the Russians last week. The good news for Trump is that he has been named employee of the month by Russia. Here's another story we've all been talking about around the office: Hillary Clinton is forming a group called Onward Together, a political organization that is anti-Trump," he told the studio audience. "Experts are calling it 'bold,' 'ambitious' and 'six months too late.'"

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"We were actually laughing about this one the other day in the office—in the break room," the British pop star continued. "A man in Washington State tried to get out of drug charges by bribing the policeman with Taco Bell. Did you see this? Did anyone see this? No? Nacho-smart. Police got suspicious of narcotics when they saw the man doing 75 mph; he was on foot."

Styles was armed with plenty of dad jokes, but he saved the best for last.

"Finally, tonight, this is a big story in the entertainment world: Hackers have stolen a copy of Pirates of the Caribbean and they are holding it for ransom. They could release this movie illegally. I guess you would say it's a pirated video. They're holding Pirates of the Caribbean for ransom—sounds to me like they're charging them an arm and a peg. If Disney pays this ransom, they could go into Johnny Debt. If people see this movie early, it would be a movie about a pirate ship with no sales," he joked. "Kids can't see the movie anyway because it's rated argh."

Styles then guided a "Side Effects May Include" segment. He introduced the guests on show, including Corden—who dressed up as the singer-songwriter—plus Ice Cube and Jason Derulo.

The singer wrapped the episode with a performance of "Carolina."

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