The Christian Bale "I'm gonna f--king kick your f--king ass" techno remix that we've all been waiting for is here.

Now that the updates have started to simmer down in Kutcher Twitterland, they're starting to use it in kind of an awesome way. Like Demi Moore smacking down adoption rumors and sending good vibes to someone undergoing chemo.

Try to wrap your heads around this one: Angelina Jolie is "rooting for Brad" on Oscar night. Yeah, wasn't expecting that at all.

Kelly Clarkson's musical career would suck without dudes, but people are still asking if she's a lesbian. “I wish I liked women like that because oftentimes men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys," she tells Popeater.

Michael Lohan heard our pleas and retired from blogging already. Thank Madonna's Jesus.

  Zac Efron has a fancy new hat. Jealous?

Just want to make sure everyone saw Britney double-Frapping it in today's Big Pic gallery. Brain-freeze city!

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