Jennifer Lopez

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Your post about Jennifer Lopez is spot-on. She has been looking bitchier than ever in recent pictures. It confirms my own gossip of how she treated my friend's 7-year-old kid on the set of The Cell. She was actually jealous of the attention he was getting and pretty much snubbed him when he asked her for her autograph. At this point I wish she would just disappear. Eva Longoria Parker seems like a much better role model for Latinas out there. Keep up the funny stuff.
Pasadena Latina

Dear Lopez Lowdown:
I wish I could say this info shocked me, but it doesn't. At this point, I'd say your friend's kid has a more promising career than she does, tho.

Dear Ted:
Is Grey Goose George Clooney? Love you, love your column!

Dear Goose Goss:
Toothy wishes. Really, I think he does.

Dear Ted:
Thank you for calling out Saint Brangie's bad attitudes of late. Based on their red carpet interviews, they clearly have disdain for media types, and based on cutaways to them during awards shows, they don't even smile or interact with their peers. They seem to have developed a holier-than-thou smugness. Maybe they've bought into their own PR? It seems they don't even care about how they look. Angie's become Skeletor in blah, baggy dresses, and Brad is sporting a serious porn 'stache. Given all that, why do media peeps still fawn over them, and why is the public at large still fascinated by them? And no, this is not Jennifer Aniston, Ted!
I Clearly Don't Get It

Dear NonJen:
There is no real power couple in Hollywood right now, when you think about it. Maybe if George hooked up with Kate Winslet or something they would have a shot at dethroning his best bud.

Dear Ted:
Nikki Reed
seems to be a bit of a fame whore to me. She is always friends with an up-and-coming star. First Lindsay Lohan, then Amanda Seyfried, now she's attached herself to the two stars of Twilight (not to mention she's always in Catherine Hardwicke's movies). Maybe I'm wrong, though, what is your take on her? Do you have any dirt, possibly? I'm just ridiculously curious about her.
What Privacy 

Dear Nikki Fluff:
You're so right on, babe. N.R.'s definitely a stage-five celeb clinger, yet she still hasn't really made a name for herself. The best way to classify her feelings for "bestie" Kristen Stewart would be that of a frenemy, darlin'.

Dear Ted:
I was just curious: Is Kate Winslet as awesome and down-to-earth as she appears? I've lost so much respect for celebrities, and it's nice to see one who acts human. Is she for real?
Cathy Simmons Dickinson, Texas

Dear the Reader:
I'm happy to report she is just as delightful in real life as she appears. Wonder for how much longer?

Dear Ted:
Is Prius Crotch Catch from One Black Boys Are Delicious Blind Vice Sienna Miller? I think it might be her.

Dear Rumor Mill:
Hell no, Sienna is very out in the open with her slut-capades!

Dear Ted:
At every awards show, Amy Poehler seems to give Alec Baldwin the Darth Vadar death look. Is this a feud? And if so why? Love your work.

Dear What's New:
Alec picks battles with lots of people in this Biz. I would love to see him throw down with Amy though. That feisty gal would kick his ass.

Dear Ted: 
Do you think Mickey Rourke will win Best Actor at the Oscars this year?

Dear Brute or Brains:
It will be very close with Sean Penn, but I'm thinking S will Milk it.

Dear Ted:
What is up with these pitiful, fugly dresses Angelina is wearing? They look like a fancier version of crap I was forced to make in home ec in 1978. You say there is always a method behind her madness, but what is it this time? Or is her new role mother of the bride?

Dear Spawn Time:
There is no biological bun in A's oven just yet, check out her purposefully tight-fitting frock in Tokyo.

Dear Ted:
Did you watch Prayers for Bobby? I thought it was a wonderful movie with a powerful message, and it's great that Lifetime airs it, as it'll reach the people who need to see it the most. Sigourney Weaver was amazing, and I love Austin Nichols. It's nice to see you talking about him lately, and I hope you talk about him more. He is talented and dreamy.

Dear Fantasy Land:
Wow-friggin'-woo, is Nichols ever taking part in risqué subject matter lately, this is so intriguing. New, daring leaf?

Dear Ted:
It's been awhile since you gave us an update on Fake à la Ferocity's "condition." Has she finally kicked the drugs? Has her handsome partner been of any help to her in getting clean?
What's New Chicky 

Dear Faking the Fight:

Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile old enough to talk? Should Toothy Tile be worried about what he might say to people?

Dear Tattle Tooth:
Yes, very. Consider it a Daddy Fearest in the making.

Dear Ted:
Just to start setting a Valentine's Day mood, I'd like to ask you, what is, in your opinion, the greatest love story in today's Hollywood? Is it Toothy Tile and Gray Goose's endless, complex, beautiful and ever-forgiving love story?

Dear Unrequited Love:
Are you kidding? Toothy's tale is more like Hom-e-o and Juliet—there's nothing great about it. Expect an equally bitter and potentially tragic ending, too. At this point, I'd go with Ellen and Portia.

Dear Ted:
Are you still disappointed that Hillary Clinton is not president? I am not disappointed that Barack won, but I am disappointed no one said anything about the blatant sexism during the primaries. If there was blatant racism everyone would be outraged. It seems people don't think racism is as bad sexism. Your thoughts, Ted? Love your blog by the way.

Dear Evil vs. Evil:
Or how about the hoops she's jumping through to get her spot in Barack's cabinet? There has been and still is a lot of sexism (reverse, and otherwise) going on throughout this whole election process.

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