by Billy Nilles | Tue., Dec. 6, 2016 1:10 PM
New year, new drama, new vocabulary—puhhlease!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns for season seven tonight and we've got but one request: Leave those tired season six buzzwords where they belong—in the past. You know the ones we're talking about. (Hint: One rhymes with Bunchausen's.)
As we impatiently await the fresh adventures of Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Erika Girardi, Lisa Rinna, Eileen Davidson and newbie Dorit Kemsley—as well as the arrival of whatever new vocab word we'll be weary of by season's end—we thought we'd put together a handy list of words we don't want to ever hear a Real Housewife utter again. We're talking every city, here. No zip code is safe.
No word was uttered more during season six of RHOBH. Which Lisa said it first, Rinna or Vanderpump? Who cares? If we ever hear this word again, it will be too soon.
We're formally requesting everyone find a new way to demand their frenemies fess up to their dirty deeds after last season's repeated demands for LVP to, you know, own it.
We admit—we loved when Luann de Lesseps' told Heather Thomson to "be cool" and not be "all...uncool" one particularly hungover morning in Turks and Caicos during season seven of The Real Housewives of New York City. Less cool was Luann's decision to drive the instant catchphrase into the ground by relying on it just a tad too much.
For three seasons of RHONY, we were terrorized by Heather's insistence on ending her opening sequence tagline with an unnecessary shout. Why was "holla" so important to her? We'll never know—and we want to keep it that way.
Thanks to RHONY season eight's one-and-done Jules Wainstein, we'll never look at one of our favorite nuts the same. May this icky euphemism for one's private parts not be adopted by any of her former co-stars when the show returns.
Dear God, let us never speak about Real Housewives of Orange County villain Brooks Ayers and his fraudulent cancer ever again. Has Vicki Gunvalson properly atoned for this debacle yet? We don't even care anymore. It's time to let it go.
Whether it's full or running on fumes, we've grown tired of hearing about the OG of the O.C.'s love tank. Time for a new metaphor, Vicki!
Remember the time The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice admitted in season three that her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga had offended her by deigning to bring "sprinkle cookies" to her house on Christmas, prompting her to throw the sweet treats in the trash? Because we do—and so does everyone on that show.
Consider this a plea to the grammar gods that Tre learn the correct way to say "texts" so we don't have to endure this unique pronunciation any longer.
As any sports team would retire the number of one of their retiring greats, so too are we forcing "bloop" into retirement now that NeNe Leakes has taken permanent leave from The Real Housewives of Atlanta after eight seasons.
In just one season, the ladies of The Real Housewives of Potomac—and their persistent lectures about the proper behavior required of Maryland's high society—made us hope we never hear the word "etiquette" again.
Was it fascinating to see a group of Bravolebrities as obsessed with potty humor as The Real Housewives of Dallas were in their first season? Sure. Do we want a single second of the poop jokes in season two? Not at all.
Pardon us for making use of one of our earlier banned phrases, but it's time to own it, ladies. Regardless of your zip code, you use this word to describe your frenemies like it's going out of style. Well, guess what? It has. Time to get a thesaurus. Variety is the spice of life, after all.
The Real Housewives of Miami
Banned from the network, banned from our vocabulary. Adios a Miami.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns Tuesday, Dec. 6 at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)
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