Bitch-Back! Duchovny Stirs, Toothy Perplexes

Toothy Tile pales compared to other Hollywood notorious types

By Ted Casablanca Jan 29, 2009 4:40 PMTags
David Duchovny, Gillian AndersonAP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Dear Ted:
So let me get this straight: Kevin Spacey would go for a Toothy Tile or Milk kind of script, but Toothy Tile himself would pass on ever starring in a film where the issue of homosexuality would be heavily addressed? Just wondering.
B

Dear Homo Hunting:
You bet. Toothy is so far back in his closet now he's not doing anything that would bring attention to him like that. This was surely not always the case with Toothy, however.

Dear Ted:
All this stuff about David Duchovny reminds me of Michael Douglas some years back. Didn't his previous marriage break up because of his so-called sexual addiction? Is this real? Or are Hollywood stars just looking for a reason not to accept responsibility for their actions? I'm not being a hall monitor here, but if you do something that's wrong, admit it! That's life! We still hear about Rob Lowe and Hugh Grant, and maybe it helped their careers? I'm addicted to your column.
Judy

Dear SAA:
Personally, I don't know anyone who doesn't love bumpin' uglies, so I see it as more of a copout, too. But I'm not in their shoes, so I can't really say. At least not yet. This marriage stuff is hard work. Any tips, readers?

Dear Ted:
I noticed St. Angie and Mr. Pitt made a point of being interviewed by Seacrest's coworker. Both seemed to be uncomfortable, but Brad looked like he was chewing glass. Later, I read he is annoyed by the whole "publicity machine" and that he didn't sign on for it. Would this have anything to do with the fact that there has been so much spin on his relationship with Angie that he can't give a legit response to anything anymore?
BigMama

Dear Brangie Overload:
I'm so sick of talking about them myself, I'm thinking of taking a strike unless something huge happens. They're talented actors, no doubt about that, but of course the Academy 'n' Co. know nominating both of them will get them more publicity.

Dear Ted:
Do you think that the objection of the Mormon Church to Prop 8 has anything to do with the fact that the U.S. Supreme Court said in a case involving the LDS back in the 1800s that polygamy was a crime and in their mind that means that the U.S. Supreme Court has defined marriage as between one man and one woman?
Wondering

Dear History Buff:
Zealots' memories tend not to go that far back. These are not deep thinkers; they're reactionary types.

Dear Ted:
I'm back in the fold, now that the election is over. Your column is as good as ever. As for some of your bitchy readers complaining about the Prop 8 comments, you should remind them that gays in Croatia have more freakin' rights than here in the good ol' USA. We like to think we are incredibly progressive and a world leader, but when it comes to gay rights, we are way behind. Keep giving us the goods.
Debbie

Dear Single Minded:
As much as I can bitch about it, when the hell is something going to happen? It's getting frustrating, but what choice is there but to keep fighting?

Dear Ted:
I feel really guilty for asking because he is no longer with us, but the contradiction really bugs me. Was Heath Ledger's only vice at the time of his death prescription meds? I ask this because some of his friends in the EW article claim he was clean of all other types of drugs for a year prior to his death, yet people from other sources claim the total opposite. Who is telling the truth?
C.G.

Dear Ethical Quandary:
Not Entertainment Weekly.

Dear Ted:
Love you and your blog. What's the latest from Desk DeeCee? By the way, didn't DeeCee get some things wrong? She was saying that the Dems would lose because they couldn't get their act together and Palin would become V.P. because everyone simply loved her. Not quite true.
J 

Dear Washington Overload:
Desk D firmly made it clear she abhorred Palin, but that her presence breathed new life into McCain's maybe campaign. On that score, she was correct. Ultimately, though, it was a suicidal shot in the arm, and it sunk an already faltering campaign. Desk D did, however (as did I), underestimate how damn sick this country was of anything that reeked of Republican and Iraq, and thank God for that!

Dear Ted:
What were Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian or any of the Hogan's doing at Sundance? They are not in an independent movie, they cannot distribute an independent movie and they ruin the festival for those of us who enjoy seeing the films. I have been going to festival for 25 years, and Redford is right, the festival has done more for diversity in film than almost any other festival. By the way, I have lived in Utah my entire life, you are right on with your comments about the Mormon Church and Prop 8. keep it up.
Married Gay and living in SLC

Dear Utah Brotha:
I'm assuming the free food and booze is the draw for the likes you listed up above. And couldn't agree more with you and R.R. The diverse films (par-tick this year) are simply fab. Keep representing in SLC!

Dear Ted:
Please level with us regarding Joaquin Phoenix's sudden plummet in to absurdity: Are his latest "rapping" antics just one big joke? Or is he sincere in his quest, whilst simultaneously losing his mind? He's such a brilliant artist. Seeing him in his current state makes me very sad and deeply concerned for his well-being. Love ya to bits!
Jenny W. Baltimore

Dear Downward Flight of the Phoenix:
Honestly, he's been troubled for a while, that's for sure. Don't expect him to retire from films, though. Far from it. Hollywood loves a freak show it can cash in on.

Dear Ted:
Is Shilah Schtup Me one of the top five ladies from Desperate Housewives?
Strayer

Dear Stump Me:
Of course, sweet stuff.

Dear Ted:
What happened to the Nicole Kidman baby story? I really thought you were on the up and up. I figured although she's got a lot of money, she couldn't buy you! But who knows. They say everyone has their price.
Hatchet 

Dear Baby Boom:
Not me, babe. Just no recent reports from Australia—it'll be back, though. Think more folks aren't more concerned right now about where her baby hails from so much as her forehead.

Dear Ted:
Why can't everybody just let the Travoltas grieve in peace? This isn't a Heath Ledger situation where he died at 28 after getting to do many things and at least having some chance to really experience life. This is a regular (at least as regular as possible, from what I understand) boy with famous parents who died at 16. You don't have much life experience then, and it's an extra shame his life was cut so short.
Cate

Dear RIP:
Exactly. But you can't ignore the huge sad story this has become. Look at the vultures in the Bahamas alone.

Dear Ted:
Please make a list of all of the Blind Vice fictitious names and the guesses that have been made..
Frustrated in Gossip Heaven

Dear Vicious Vices:
That's a book, darling.

Dear Ted:
Totally agree with you about Michelle Obama's outfit for the Inauguration—it made her look much older than she is. Girl is rockin' a hot body. She should be proud to show it off! Victoria Beckham for stylist to the first lady?
Sarah T

Dear Stylista:
Much prefer Vicki over Lauren Conrad.

Dear Ted:
Seriously, Ted, why did the story drop so quickly over Téa Leoni and Billy Bob?
CuriousGirl

Dear Téa Ticker:
Who's dropping?

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