Jessica Simpson

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A lot of fat crap has being going on recently with Jessica Simpson, from her weight scrutiny, to Tony Romo supposedly banging another chick in Jess' own home, to her lawsuit. Heady stuff.

So I'm afraid, even though Jess is a tough Texas broad, we perhaps foresee a bit of an emotional meltdown in the headlines next. And to help fend that off, let's first clear up the most pressing issue for the girl: Romo's alleged cheating habits. Here's what went down:

"Yeah, there was an after-party back at Jessica's house," blabbed an in-the-know source at the shindig. Very in the know.

"But Tony definitely was not hooking up with any girl there. He hung out, but he wasn't even creeping on any of the girls." Not even creeping! Jeez, now that's a sign that either something really is up and he's trying to be all sneaky about it, or he is—as Jessica and Tony's close bud attests—not guilty of any charges.

We're glad to hear the insistence of the latter because we truly are feeling sorry for poor Jess. She's actually a supersweet gal.

Little sis Ashlee was also quick to blog in J's defense about the "fat" pictures, saying how disgusting all the media coverage is. Well, we totally agree; there is no need to jump on the nitpicky bandwagon just because someone decides to gain a few lbs, but we couldn't disagree with Ash more. After all, if the entire Dallas Cowboys fan base has blamed Jessica for Tony's debatable performance, how Jessica reacts is germane, sorry. Sad and pathetic, really, but relevant just the same.

I mean, if that kind of crazed-fan, reactionary behavior isn't reason enough to start eating out of revenge or frustration or even getting pregnant with his love child just to screw those evil naysayers right back, well, then I don't know what is. But you deal however you want, girl, we're with ya.

—Additional reporting by Taryn Ryder

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