Lindsay Lohan

Dear Ted:
So I'm guessing Lindsay's very rapid weight loss is due to her new smoking habit. My question is, Does her sister know about the new "fun"? Poor Ali seems so innocent and deluded when it comes to her sister. (Or am I being naive and not only does she know, she wants to be just like her?) I have to admit, I'm a bit tired of the celebathon that is the Inauguration. I'm worried all the red carpet party nonsense is going to take away from the real message, that Obama is not a celebrity, he is the president with a lot of work to do. In addition, if I have to see one more picture of that hypocrite tax-evader jerk Bono pretending he is more saintly than Angelina I'm going to scream. Much love to you, Jon and the furry kids.
Lucy, Dublin

Dear What She Said:
Don't think Ali's in any downward spiral, but the girl can't be that dumb, either. Dina the erudite monster is her mother, after all. And ditto on the whole last half of your letter, babe! Woof woof, meow meow!

Dear Ted: 
I wish you'd had this much to say about Bush ruining this country as you've had to say about Obama before he's even in office. If you want to focus on anything, do a summary of what Bush has screwed up so the Republicans can stop feigning amnesia. I, too, was disappointed in the Rick Warren choice (as a black, bisexual female). But I do believe that Obama will be good for this country in a time where anything is better than what we've had for the last two terms. Stop nitpicking and give Obama a chance—he has a lot to fix, and it will probably take decades.

Dear Change the Past:
You must be new to the blolumn dear, 'cause I've had much to say regarding the past eight years. And I do think O can fix this friggin' country, I just want to see him start doing, not chatting.

Dear Ted:
Jim Carrey
's movie is being marketed at Sundance—really? Is that (a) a sign of his slippage (b) another attempt to be a serious actor or (c) a sign of the economic times? P.S.: Thought the movie sounded excellent.

Dear Haven't You Heard:
Indie is the new Blockbuster. Jim's just going along with the rest of the A-listers who are partaking in the festival (even though they might not all physically be there).

Dear Ted:
Does Angelina Jolie have any formal education? Just curious. Something about her has always bothered me. She seems lacking in some way, and I thought maybe that was the problem.

Dear Book Smarts:
I don't think lack of brains is A's issue. In fact, I think she has more street smarts than she knows what to do with.

Dear Ted:
Your friend Lloyd Boy-Toyed sure sounds like Aaron Eckhart. Could he be good friends with our beloved Toothy?

Dear Two Face:
Our boy Lloyd is no big superhero. Maybe more of a villain?

Dear Ted:
I'm sorry for making fun of your washer and dryer. The walls aren't that bad, either. I was just in a mood. Your house looks cool and tidy.
Just Jane

Dear Slipup:
What's with the apology, babe? As anybody who's seen Truth Lies & Ted, my laundry room looks like Lindsay Lohan having gone without Red (or boy) Bull for weeks on end.

Dear Ted:
Actually, Ted, Gene Robinson was picked for the ceremony before Rick Warren. It is not a mea culpa; it is an acknowledgement that there are people in this world with different opinions. If only everyone had the emotional maturity that Obama has, the world would be a better place. Yes, Obama was never for gay marriage, neither is Joe Biden, he made that clear. And neither was Hillary, although you like to pretend she was. You have a lot more in common with Prop 8 supporters than you care to admit.

Dear Disher:
I've never pretended Hillary was for Prop 8—it disgusts me that she, too, had the nerve to say what was good for her wasn't a right for others, and I've said so. Who cares whether Gene came before Rick? The point is that Rick came at all—can you imagine if Warren had said racist things on any level in the past? Why is it OK, then, that he preached anti-gay things? Complete double standard.

Dear Ted:
I love you and your column, have to have my "Ted" fix every day! Maybe it's a naive question, but does Toothy Tile know that everyone knows he's closeted? If so, why does he continue the charade? No one is fooled.
Lovin u in Texas

Dear Tile Is Tickin':
If that many people outside of the L.A. or "reader" bubbles actually knew, then maybe, just maybe, he'd come out.

Dear Ted: 
Always enjoy reading your blog, so in return, I invite you to view my newest YouTube vid—not getting too many hits, but that's OK, the few who have seen it liked it.

Dear Video Vixen:
Maybe it will now. But, doll-face, edit much? Great message but it goes on like I do about the friggin' Mormon Church.

Dear Ted:
Why does Robin Wright Penn put up with Sean Penn? Does she have more money than him and not do a prenup? I would think after all these years of humiliation she would kick him to the curb. She seems normal, but the longer she stays with him, the more I wonder if she is crazy? Especially if he was out with Lindsay Lohan. Eww.

Dear Wife Swap:
Why does Téa stick with David? Or why is Rosetta Getty still married to Balthazar? Or Hillary with Bill all those Monica years ago? It's clearly a demented spouse thing, and I don't like it, either.

Dear Ted: 
I read your article about Jen Aniston out with another man. In one sentence you say Brad got tired of servicing her years ago and in another sentence you say the other man would up Brad Pitt in the looks department? Not very realistic. I think you're a d--khead for calling Angie a bitch. If you're pissed off because she ended up with Brad, it takes two. She's donated more and has done more for the charities and poor women and children of this world than most celebrities. Can you say the same about Jen?

Dear Kindergarten Cop:
Nope. And for the record, I have no problem about any of the charity work she's done, it's great someone's doing it. I just don't see why everyone's so quick to think A is a "Saint" because of all of it. There are tons of people volunteering who aren't celebrities, why do we need to put her on a pedestal? (And your Brad points have nothing to do with each other.)

Dear Ted:
Classy Classy Classy Ted. I love what you had to say about Jett Travolta and family.

Dear Piss Approved:
Much thanks.

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