• This is what Amy Winehouse has resorted to at the fancy Caribbean resort where she is not allowed to be served liquor: "We keep catching her crawling past bars or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut." And yes, there's a picture.
• Gywneth Paltrow is prepared to do more than just send you pastel-colored newsletters every week to get your ass in shape—she's going to open an actual gym.
• Mickey Rourke is defending President Bush, but who can pay attention to words when his suit is so shiny. Soooo shiny and distracting...
• It's nice when Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel do something good, but we can never come up with anything to say about it. So, uh, keep up the good work, kids.
• Yes, we know Star covers are mostly fiction, but sometimes they're so awesome.
Is that Jake Gyllenhaal excercising in our Big Pic gallery? Dude doesn't quit.