How to Live Your Best Vacation Life, as Taught by Drake

He just schooled all of us.

By Seija Rankin Jun 20, 2016 7:52 PMTags
Drake, WimbledonKarwai Tang/WireImage

Drake, we bow down to you.

Now, this is for many reasons. We respect Drake's hustle. We respect the fact that he produces great songs that manage to continually top the charts. We respect his concern for lint-brushing his pants. But most of all, we respect the fact that he vacations harder than anyone.

Yes, there is perhaps no celebrity that better embodies the work hard, play hard mentality than Drake. He's turned his birthday into a lifestyle and he's not going to stop. The latest example is his recent spate of envy-worthy Instagram posts. One Champagne Papi has taken to the 'gram to school all of us in what it means to truly kick back. So naturally we've combed through it to create Drake's Guide to Tropical Vacation-ing.

Take notes.

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Not often enough. ??

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

1. Location is key.
If you're going to go on a tropical vacation, you need to be somewhere actually tropical. Just setting up camp at your neighbor's backyard camp is not going to do. This means finding a locale fit for a king, with a few necessities. First, you need an ocean. As you can see in Drake's first vacation pic, the water is a major player in this getaway. It doesn't have to be beach-side, per se, but if you're not right on the sand you better have a first-class view of it.

2. Go infinity pool or go home.
Not only is a pool that never ends far classier, but it's going to prove quite necessary as you begin to document your leisure activities for all of social media to see.

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A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

3. Swan floats are overrated.
These days, anyone who's ever set foot near a body of water and owned an Instagram account is now an amateur decorative pool float expert. But not Drake. Drake keeps it old-school. He doesn't need any swans or flamingos or donuts or pretzels to keep himself afloat. He'll take plain old foam, thankyouverymuch. So retro. 

4. Perfect your poses. 
90 percent of being on vacation is posing like you're on vacation. You'll need a variety of different themes, from look-how-relaxed-I-am to look-how-pensive-and-self-reflective-I-am to look-I-have-really-cool tattoos. Make sure they're all as candid as possible, as if you've been so busy vacationing that someone just plain snuck up on you and you barely had time to wipe away your pure leisure glee. 

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A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

5. Get a bunch of tattoos.
They just look cool on vacation, okay? Being poolside and in the buff all day is the perfect opportunity to show off your badass ink, and without tattoos you wouldn't be able to take these awesome backside photos. And, if you're on a getaway on an island that isn't private, your body decoration will provide the perfect opportunity to make small talk with strangers. Of course, temporary tats are more than encouraged—we promise we won't tell Drake.

6. Bring a personal Instagram photographer.
You're going to be too busy relaxing the crap out of yourself to think about taking selfies. You need an expert alongside you who can pick out the best spot to reflect the sun, choose poses that look the most enviable, and just simply document all your leisure. Plus, how else are you going to get all those contemplative backside angles?

Papi Shampoo ????

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

7. Reflect, reflect, reflect. 
We mean this metaphorically, of course. You get away from it all so that you can think about how #blessed you are in this life. Just look at you! You are on an oceanside vacation with your very own infinity pool, personal photographer and old-school pool float! You would be remiss if you didn't spend several hours each day staring out into the abyss and brainstorming about the Meaning of Life. And if you ask said photog to stand behind you to capture you in your most thoughtful times, then so be it. 

8. Get a super baller robe.

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A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

We mean it, now. All of these other tips are a total waste if you can't end your vacation days wrapped up in the most badass piece of fabric known to man. Did you think you could jet all the way to your undisclosed tropical locale and then just dry off with a (gasp!) pool towel? Dear God, no. The more high quality the velvet the better (and yes, it must be velvet, no matter the temperature), with extra points for that gilded look. You'll want to be mistaken for ancient royalty whenever possible. Now, you're ready to travel like Drake.

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