Some things are out of a parent's control.
Jimmy Kimmel was reminded of that fact after orchestrating what he assumed would be a Mother's Day for the record books. The comedian, who has two children from his first marriage, pulled out all the stops to celebrate everything Molly McNearney does for their 22-month-old daughter, Jane Kimmel. "I thought I nailed Mother's Day this year. I thought I did a very good job," he said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday. "In the morning, my wife and her mother and sister all went to get massages. While they were out, I made a fantastic brunch: waffles on the waffle iron, eggs, homemade biscuits. Good stuff, right?"
"The flowers showed up on time. My wife loved the gifts I got her—including a bathing suit, which is a tough one," he joked. "You can start a war buying your wife a bathing suit, but it fit perfectly. I wrote her a nice card. Of course I wrote it after she said, 'Did you get me a card?' But I did write the card. Don't forget the card, by the way. They really want that card. I'd rather have a bathing suit, but women do love a card."
The special treatment was far from over, though.
"I made a dinner reservation to a restaurant we'd been wanting to go to a couple weeks ago—in advance,—so we didn't have to beg or wait in line," Jimmy said. "It was all going very well until we got to dinner. It turns out the only bad thing about Mother's Day is having children."
Jimmy shared a few photos of his daughter acting up while his wife looked defeated and tired. "Jane decided to celebrate Mother's Day by making my wife wish she had no kids. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sit still, she had no crayons, they had no high chair—look at my wife's face!" the host said. "It was one of those moments where we're like, 'Should we just leave before the food gets here?' Because she did not let us relax for one second...We got the hell out of there."
The trio decided to skip dessert, and despite her bad behavior, Jimmy gave Jane a sweet treat. "On the way home, because I'm not a good parent, I decided to reward little Jane for her behavior by stopping the car for ice cream," he said. "Look at the devil! That smile says, 'I win!'"