Britney Spears, Circus (album)

Since you have this uncanny ability to predict celebrities' futures, can you predict whether Britney's comeback will be a successful one?
—A huge fan from Indonesia

You're too late, distant B!tchling. The media has already declared Britney fully exhumed, dusted and resurrected. Her mascara is tamed. Her hair is carefully brushed. And the rest of her is all toned up and ready to gyrate in various combinations of leather pants, belly shirts, live snakes, tear-away men's suits, top hats and skintight hoodies. So sayeth Rolling Stone. And the entire country of Germany. Now, achtung, schnell and all this!

What is Dita Von Teese's real name?

Heather Renee Sweet.

Is there really an audience for Rosie O.'s live celebrity special? I think she was unpleasant on The View, and her separation from her show and her magazine put a damper on her character. Still, she thinks a smile and a song will do it, eh?

Well, no. She thinks that showing us a bunch of celebrities will do it. Announced guest performers include the all-singing, all-dancing Jane Krakowski, whose manic adoration of Broadway is matched only by Rosie "Great White Way" O'Donnell, Ne-Yo, Alec Baldwin, Liza Minelli, Kathy Griffin and Alanis Morissette.

When we purchase music from the wonderful iTunes, how do the artists get paid? Also, I hear Madonna got a "perliminary" divorce. What is "perliminary"? Thanks Bitch!!!
—Abe from Arizona

For every 99-cent song, record companies get about 70 cents—about 8 to 11 cents of which then gets passed to the artist. As for "perliminary," it's preliminary, as in tentative, as in not yet finalized. The divorce decree can become final after six weeks and a day, in the fairy-tale parlance of the English courts.

How effin' hot is Adrien Brody??

Well, let's take a look-see. Between the swoonworthy cockatoo eyes and that breathtaking manatee schnoz, I would say he's about as hot as a trip to the Long Beach Aquarium.

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