Miley Cyrus, Justin Gaston, Billy Ray Cyrus

Dear Ted:
Aside from the age difference between the kids, this whole Billy Ray/Miley Cyrus/Justin Gaston thing reminds me a lot of the Joe Simpson/Ashlee Simpson/Ryan Cabrera triangle, and it's really creeping me out. We never seem to hear anything from the mothers of these girls. Why don't they step up and say, enough!

Dear Double Tri:
Lynne Spears they’re not. Or at least, not so obviously.

Dear Ted:  
Not into the Angelina/Brad/Jennifer triangle thingy, but I think it is uncalled for to add Aniston's name in the unsexy men poll and leave Angelina's out—especially since that last pic from the L.A. Times interview last week!

Dear Picture Reject:
Unfortunately, I think every girl would still wanna look like Angie on a bad day. She may be annoying as hell, but her body is bangin’. Too damn thin, though. 

Dear Ted: 
Longtime reader (and admitted Brangeloonie). Who is the most moderate A-lister out there? And of course, by moderate, I mean boring. As in never involved in something that could be considered a felony, not addicted to drugs or drink, doesn’t worship aliens, hasn’t resorted to mob tactics to get their way, doesn’t cheat on their significant other and is honest about their sexual orientation.

Dear Out of This World:
The kind of person you’re describing is far too dull for showbiz, dear.

Dear Ted: 
The Daily Mail article about David Duchovny's tennis instructor that he is suing over also claimed he had a doomed love affair with Gillian Anderson, yet his lawyer never mentioned anything on that part of the article—is that because it is actually true? And I don't think they were referring to the maybe, maybe-not handicapped bathroom chat at the L.A. premiere!

Dear Fact or Fiction:
Keep those wheels turning, babe. The truth is obviously out there.

Dear Ted:
Cracks me up that people still get so amped with the Jen vs. Angie soap opera after all these years; course, I have to admit that sometimes I'm one of them! It seems you're on Team A (yay!), but you also call her a whiner. I think that considering all of the insults Saint Jolie keeps sending her way (which smacks of desperation for good PR to counter Jen's "America's Sweetheart" title to me), Jen has exercised a lot of restraint in the few public statements she's made. "Uncool" is mild at best.
Kelly, Washington, D.C.

Dear Faniston:
J has to go big or go home. Seriously, “uncool” was all she could come up with? Not classy enough to show restraint, and not bitchy enough to rep Team Jen.

Dear Ted: 
Let me guess: It was decidedly not an accident that Will Smith's love life was casually mentioned in your discussion of Hugh Jackman's. Why do I get the feeling you're trying to reveal something to us about these two? I smirked when I read it. So deliciously naughty.

Dear Coinky-Dink:
What are you talking about, Emmie?

Dear Ted:
Not a question, just an observation: I just read that Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson are building a house together and talking marriage. Obviously this story was planted by their publicist since I can't recall seeing them together for quite some time. I guess we needed a reminder of how "in love" they are because I'm sure we all forgot or don't care. P.S. I love your Bitch-Back! sessions.

Dear Homebodies:
Let’s just say I feel about those two like I do about Reese and Jake. But on a much smaller scale, natch.

Dear Ted:
I'm begging you, stick to celebrities. I am well aware that trashing Sarah Palin is entertainment to you. It's not entertaining me. I am a Christian. My political leanings are far right of yours, but I'm more about states' rights, the economy and moving away from big government. I don't care how you live your life. I'm worried about mine. It sounds like you are calling all Christians idiots on a daily basis. Back off for a while. Please.

Dear Keeps Getting Better:
I know all Christians aren’t idiots; I was raised in Texas, remember? I just think those who hide their bigotry behind religion, or anything for that matter, need to be called out.

Dear Ted:
You are so right on the Bennifer thing. That's gotta be over. I mean if your wife was very preggers, with a scary stalker hovering over her, if you really gave a darn about her wouldn't you not go to the Congo! So, how long until they officially announce they are kaput?

Dear Bye-Bye Benny:
It’s taken longer than expected, but it’ll come, trust.

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