Matt Sayles/Invision/APFor as long as we can remember, society has been forced to endure an endless array of penis jokes. Penis jokes in movies, penis jokes on social media, and penis jokes in awards show.
But last night, Amy Schumer decided to change that once and for all. Instead, vaginas ruled the evening and there was nary a penis joke to be found. (Unless you count that Zac Efron-Dave Franco crotch-grabbing incident, but that was merely a blip on the radar.)
Joke after joke was dedicated to lady nether regions, and perhaps even more shocking was the fact that they were actually not entirely un-funny. In fact it might even be time to declare penis jokes as so over; it's now vagina jokes' time in the sun!
The theme kicked off with that admittedly awkward bit on the red carpet—you know, the one where they made all the celebs recite the lyrics to "Drop That Kitty"? Luckily, things could only go up from there.
Read on for the rest of the jokes, but just be warned that things can veer a little on the, er, inappropriate.
"I'm gonna go tend to what I have to tend to, but I'm not telling you what it is...yeast infection."
"Magic Mike really is magic! Every time I watch those guys, two of my fingers disappear. It's so weird!"
"Guess who brought a bottomless popcorn? Mr. Grey will see me now."
"Dear people of the world: I would like to apologize for my actions on the set of Pitch Perfect 2, in particular the night I accidentally showed my girl power to the President of the United States. By 'girl power' I do mean vagina."
"These four presenters are doing their part [for the drought] by making it rain...in my pants."
And with that we'll leave you to...well...think of more vagina jokes.