Michael Buckner/WireImageAnnaLynne McCord is reclaiming her power.
In a candid and exclusive interview with E! News, the actress, who recently revealed that she was suicidal after experiencing physical and sexual abuse in the past, goes in-depth about the tragic experience and explains that she's not going to let what happened stop her from being who she is—a beautiful, and sexy, young woman.
"Because of my power trips, I didn't think anything could be my fault, but the truth for me, to my private self, was yes, absolutely," McCord responds when asked if she felt like it was her fault she got raped. "I questioned whether or not I gave him the wrong idea. I'm a very sexual person, I wear sexy clothes."
But the 26-year-old wants to put an end to the idea that a woman can't be sexy without having repercussions.
"Someone who has experienced trauma—our brains do not function in the same way someone else who has never experienced trauma does. That is why survivors find each other. Together we can find our healing, with one voice we become a collective voice, and this is not about my story, this is about our story.
"It's about coming back and having the right to wear a sexy dress with side boob. I have the right to get piss drunk. I don't even drink, but it's my choice if I want to or not. I have the right to party, to dance on the rooftops, and not be violated and not to be raped. That is the stigma I want to end," she says.
Over time, the 90210 star, who once believed that suicide was a solution, "found something inside of myself that was worth loving" and "didn't want to hurt" herself anymore. And to remind herself of that, AnnaLynne carries a baby photo of herself as a reminder.
"I look at her as a child, unless you're a heart of stone, you just see innocence and it resonates with you, resonates with feelings of the loss it might bring, the memory of the beauty. I look at myself and say that this happened to you, if I could've been there for you that time I would have," she shares while getting teary-eyed.
"But because I wasn't and I'm here now I promise to love you. I promise to stand up for you. I promise to know when you are hurting and make that hurting stop. I will make that promise to you. Looking at yourself and telling yourself that is very powerful."
McCord directed, wrot,e produced and starred in a 9-minute short silent film titled I Choose, which had a premiere sponsored by Gen Art. And the project hits close to home. "I was doing work with rescuing girls who had been victims of sexual trafficking. I was rescuing everyone else to avoid rescuing myself, when I had rescued me, suddenly I was doing the right thing for the right reason," she tells us.
"What came from that was this film because it was my story, a woman. A woman who loves sex, who loves being sexy, but a woman who stands up for the most atrocious kind sexual act done against a woman, against her, or a man, or a child, but when the sex is done against the free will, that's what the film is, an exposé of my life."