Adam Sandler's latest movie, Blended, hits theaters today. It is his third film costarring the truly delightful Drew Barrymore. It doesn't look great. The New York Times' film critic went so far as to say, "It will make your children stupid."
Well, they can't all be winners. But when was Adam Sandler's last "winner"? Let's look back...
Blended
Release Date: May 23, 2014
Synopsis (via IMDb): "After a bad blind date, a man and woman find themselves stuck together at a resort for families, where their attraction grows as their respective kids benefit from the burgeoning relationship."
Reviews: The N.Y. Times review also says, "Most of Blended has the look and pacing of a three-camera sitcom filmed by a bunch of eighth graders and conceived by their less bright classmates."
Was it a good movie? No.
Grown Ups 2
Release Date: July 12, 2013
Synopsis (via IMDb): "After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, Lenny finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed party crashers sometimes crazy follows you."
Reviews: Film.com calls it, "A movie of fools, by fools, for fools." One audience review on Rotten Tomatoes "applaud[s] Sandler and co. for having the guts to make a movie with no plot whatsoever," while another calls it "the most sad and unfortunate assemblage of SNL talent since Chris Farley's funeral."
Was it a good movie? No.
Hotel Transylvania
Release Date: Sept. 28, 2012
Synopsis (via IMDb): "Dracula, who operates a high-end resort away from the human world, goes into overprotective mode when a boy discovers the resort and falls for the count's teen-aged daughter."
Reviews: NPR described the movie as "little more than Twilight told from the other side of the tracks, only with far more fart jokes." It faired better with audiences, though the popular sentiment was, "It's of the same quality as any other Adam Sandler film that I've seen."
Was it a good movie? No.
That's My Boy
Release Date: June 15, 2012
Synopsis (via IMDb): "While in his teens, Donny fathered a son, Todd, and raised him as a single parent up until Todd's 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd's world comes crashing down when Donny resurfaces just before Todd's wedding."
Reviews: MSN Movies says, "If someone told you about almost every joke in That's My Boy, you would think they were either a sociopath or a budding serial killer." The most positive audience review on Rotten Tomatoes decided it was "Not as bad as it could have been..."
Was it a good movie? No.
Jack and Jill
Release Date: Nov. 11, 2011
Synopsis (via IMDb): "Family guy Jack Sadelstein prepares for the annual event he dreads: the Thanksgiving visit of his twin sister, the needy and passive-aggressive Jill, who then refuses to leave."
Reviews: Let's just start with this: It has a 3 percent fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes (3!). Time's reviewer wrote, "More than 24 hours has passed since I watched the new Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill and I am still dead inside." While another review said it "even gives fart jokes a bad name."
Was it a good movie? No.
Zookeeper
Release Date: July 8, 2011
Synopsis (via IMDb): "A group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zoo keeper find love—without opting to leave his current job for something more illustrious."
Reviews: The Christian Science Monitor says, "There should be a subdivision of the ASPCA—American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Audiences," while SF Gate is slightly more optimistic, saying, "As far as complete wastes of time go, Zookeeper is not especially offensive."
Was it a good movie? No.
Just Go With It
Release Date: February 11, 2011
Synopsis (via IMDb): "On a weekend trip to Hawaii, a plastic surgeon convinces his loyal assistant to pose as his soon-to-be-divorced wife in order to cover up a careless lie he told to his much-younger girlfriend."
Reviews: The Chicago Reader argues that, "Jennifer Aniston has starred in so many lame romantic comedies that she's become an industry punch line, but drop her into an Adam Sandler movie and she comes off like Katharine Hepburn." Meanwhile, Rolling Stone calls it, "the perfect Valentine's date night movie, but only with someone you hate."
Was it a good movie? No.
Grown Ups
Release Date: June 25, 2010
Synopsis (via IMDb): "After their high school basketball coach passes away, five good friends and former teammates reunite for a Fourth of July holiday weekend."
Reviews: The best reviews call it "a crude and decent hearted outing" (Denver Post) and say it's "diverting enough to get by" (Entertainment Weekly). And those are the good reviews! One audience review jokes, "No pun intended, but this should of been called ‘Groan Ups' because of how many times I groaned from how unfunny this film is."
Was it a good movie? No.
Funny People
Release Date: July 31, 2009
Synopsis (via IMDb): "When seasoned comedian George Simmons learns of his terminal, inoperable health condition, his desire to form a genuine friendship cause him to take a relatively green performer under his wing as his opening act."
Reviews: While the movie got many favorable reviews, Film.com summed it up best, saying, "The good parts of this movie are often wonderful…but always manages to muddy its feet in mediocrity in between, as it drags on toward the two-and-a-half-hour." Audience reaction is about the same.
Was it a good movie? Not quite. (If only in comparison to other Judd Apatow movies.)
Bedtime Stories
Release Date: Dec. 25, 2008
Synopsis (via IMDb): "A family comedy about a hotel handyman whose life changes when the lavish bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to magically come true."
Reviews: The Wall Street Journal guessed that, "If you listen carefully to the strains of 'When You Wish Upon a Star' during the Disney corporate intro, you may hear Walt moaning in his grave." An audience review was more forgiving, saying, "Well...kids will enjoy it."
Was it a good movie? No.
You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Release Date: June 6, 2008
Synopsis (via IMDb): "An Israeli Special Forces Soldier fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist."
Reviews: Roger Ebert was actually complimentary of the movie. Kind of. He wrote, "Sandler works so hard at this, and so shamelessly, that he battered down my resistance." Surprisingly, the audience reviews were actually harsher, with a positive review saying, "So on a real scale of 1 to 10, it gets about a three. Not good, but not so horribly bad either. Definitely wouldn't watch again though."
Was it a good movie? No.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Release Date: July 20, 2007
Synopsis (via IMDb): "Two straight, single Brooklyn firefighters pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits."
Reviews: The Wall Street Journal points out one impressive thing about the movie: That it "manages to insult gays, straights, men, women, children, African-Americans, Asians, pastors, mailmen, insurance adjusters, firemen, doctors—and fans of show music. That's championship stuff." Audience reviews agree, "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry is the most homophobic pro-gay movie you will ever see."
Was it a good movie? No.
Reign Over Me
Release Date: March 23, 2007
Synopsis (via IMDb): "A man who lost his family in the September 11 attack on New York City runs into his old college roommate. Rekindling the friendship is the one thing that appears able to help the man recover from his grief."
Reviews: The good reviews call it "heartfelt" and "honest." The bad reviews aren't that bad, saying it "has the best of intentions" and that it bounces between "sitcom shenanigans [and] movie-of-the-week weepiness."
Was it a good movie? Almost.
Click
Release Date: June 23, 2006
Synopsis (via IMDb): "A workaholic architect finds a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Complications arise when the remote starts to overrule his choices."
Reviews: Naturally, the Click reviews play on a lot of remote control puns. The Miami Herald reviewer said, " If I could get my hands on this remote, I'd rewind back to the first time I watched Happy Gilmore, just to remember what funny really is." While The Orlando Sentinel goes the opposite direction, saying, "Rarely have I wanted to fast-forward through a movie as much as Click."
Was it a good movie? No. (It probably would have helped had it not been advertised as a comedy and turned out to be THE SADDEST MOVIE EVER.)
The Longest Yard
Release Date: May 27, 2005
Synopsis (via IMDb): Prison inmates form a football team to challenge the prison guards.
Reviews: Rarely do people like a remake. Especially this one. Time Out says, "Everyone involved with this remake claims the utmost respect for Robert Aldrich's raucously funny 1974 original. So you have to wonder why they crapped all over it, starting with the casting." Audience reviews called it "a typical Adam Sandler movie."
Was it a good movie? No.
Spanglish
Release Date: Dec. 17, 2004
Synopsis (via IMDb): "A woman and her daughter emigrate from Mexico for a better life in America, where they start working for a family where the patriarch is a newly celebrated chef with an insecure wife."
Reviews: Entertainment Weekly called it "a deeply unpleasant movie masquerading as a heartfelt social commentary on life in these United States" while L.A. Weekly said it was "a desperate, shapeless, overreaching big-screen sitcom of a movie that just wants to be loved." But at least one audience review called it, "Pretty good actually. Adam Sandler finally didn't drive me insane in a movie."
Was it a good movie? No. But Adam Sandler finally didn't drive us insane in a movie.
50 First Dates
Release Date: Febrary 13, 2004
Synopsis (via IMDb): "Henry Roth is a man afraid of commitment up until he meets the beautiful Lucy. They hit it off and Henry think he's finally found the girl of his dreams, until he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him the very next day."
Reviews: Let's be real. The reviews aren't amazing. At worst, The Village Voice says it "ends up making you pine for Lucy's gift of forgetting." But others, like Washington Post, say it's "A chick flick for guys, with a pH balance in perfect equilibrium between the crass and the sweet."
Was it a good movie? Sure. Because we're already back 10 years and we'll watch this one when it pops up on TV. Plus, we can't overstress exactly how delightful that Drew Barrymore is.
Verdict: It was been 10 years. Just over a decade since Adam Sandler made a (kind of, sort of, mostly) good movie. And 15 years since Big Daddy, 16 years since The Wedding Singer, and 18 years since Happy Gilmore.