Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston

FameFlynet Pictures

Dear Ted:
How happy do Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux look? It's almost like they have a secret they aren't sharing. I like these two together and I hope it works out! Should we keep our ears open for any "news," if you know what I mean.

Dear Behind the Smile:
Whatever do you mean, GodsChild? Can't the couple just be happy because they enjoy spending time together?! I'll say this much: I've always said these two are very serious and that has not changed. But Jennifer isn't one to rush something. If it ain't broke, why fix it?! That said, I wouldn't be surprised if the couple made a change in the next few months.

Dear Ted:
Jennifer Lawrence
and Nicholas Hoult seem so sweet and low-key. They were adorable at the Queen's Jubilee! How are they doing? They've been together for a while, so do you know how serious they are?
—Another Jenny from the Block

Dear Team Jenicholos:
They seem sweet and low-key because they are! Imagine that! While other franchise stars might flaunt their relationships, J.Law actually enjoys keeping her personal life, well, personal. And that should tell you how serious they are—very.

Dear Ted:
You'd mentioned that Portia Vajazzle and Stinky Carrot-Crotch have a movie coming out very soon. Is this movie Savages? I get the feeling there are definitely some Vicers in this one. Thanks!

Dear Coming Attractions:
You're right and wrong. Yes, Savages has some A-list Vice stars onboard (hell-o, Blake Lively!) but none of that gang is Portia or Stinky. Though I'm sure their movies might draw the same type of crowd.

Dear Ted:
So, I'm wondering, after seeing this (warning NSFW) Magic Mike scene, do you still think Matt Bomer is too vanilla for the role of the dreamy charismatic kinky Christian Grey?

Dear Fifty Shades of Friction:
Oh, to be a fly on that extras face. Or just to be that extra and get to cop a feel on Bomer's booty! But, despite the fact that Matty looks beyond smoking hot all stripped down and getting hump happy, I still think the really raunchy stuff would be beyond him. And that's not a bad thing. At all.

Dear Ted:
Some Vice stars seem to be rebounding in their careers in a big way. Like Fey Oiled-Tush. Others not so much. Like Cruella St. Shackles, who's doing the opposite! So should we expect a PR surprise from her in the near future?
—Love, Uma

Dear Slathered and Shut Down:
Hmm...Not exactly sure who you think these two Vice über-stars are, because Fey's career hasn't cooled off in a while. As for Cruella, she's more than making a splash with her current choice in roles. Actually, I would expect a stunt from Fey before Cruella these days. Just sayin'.

Dear Ted:
If Seymour Plow-Me-More is who I think he is, why doesn't he get it over with and just come out of the closet now? His career isn't as hot as it was a decade or so ago, what could be stopping him? Maybe the significant other?

Dear More is Less:
Sey is hardly hurting for projects these days, M. But you're right about one thing, he isn't as red hot as he once was. And if you ask ol' Plow-Me-More what could get him back on top—of H'wood, that is—the last thing he'd say is coming out. And his S.O., who's very invested in the secrets they hold, would agree.

Dear Ted:
So, The Avengers has me seriously crushing hard on Jeremy Renner. Just curious, does he have a Blind Vice? My ginormous Labradoodles send their love.
—Love, S

Dear Hawkeye on the Prize:
But of course! Though he's been involved in his Vice long before he ever took on his superhero duties. Give your giant babies some kisses from me!

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