Fifty Shades of Grey

It was inevitable! Like every good franchise that came before it (lookin' at you, Twilight and The Hunger Games), the oh-so-risqué Fifty Shades of Grey will begin rolling out merchandise soon.

The Hollywood Reporter reports that author E.L. James has chosen U.K.-based Caroline Mickler Ltd. to market products based on the raunchy saga of Anastasia Steele and her S&M-lovin' BF, Christian Grey. So what kind of (possibly NC-17) merch will be shilled out?!

For one, a perfume (of course). Which raises the question: Are you ready to smell like Fifty Shades of sex?!

We say: We're not sure.

What exactly will the fragrance smell like?! Sweat, bodily fluids and just a hint of fabric softener (to keep the sheets nice and fluffy)? Perhaps they'll get exotic and bring us Safe Word: Smells of the Red Room?

And that's just the surface of the horny iceberg. We don't want to even consider some of the other smells Christian and Ana could inspire.

Mickler is said to also be considering lingerie/sleepwear (wait a sec, aren't they naked the whole book? Is this an Emperor's New Clothes type deal?!), apparel (leather harnesses?), beauty products, bedding, home furnishings (for your very own Red Room, duh), stationery and jewelry.

And get your black bags ready because, yes, there will be "adult products aimed at adult women."

Sorry, jealous Twi-hards, you'll just have to stick to your Edward Cullen-shaped body pillows.

But does any of this merch actually appeal to you, Grey addicts? Or is the book enough to keep you company on those long, lonely nights? Sound off in the poll and let us know what product intrigues you most in the comments!

Awful's Fifty Shades of Consumerism Poll!
Are you interested in the Fifty Shades-inspired merchandise?
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