Scarlett Johansson, Kristen Stewart

ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images; Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
I loved your Valley of the Dolls dream cast but how about a few other options? I think Kristen Stewart could pull off the ice queen Anne Welles. As for Jennifer North, Scarlett Johansson could definitely pull it off. And while I love the idea of Evan Rachel Wood (your near perfect choice), how about Mila Kunis for Neely O'Hara? As for Ted Casablanca? Why not you? You've already got the right moniker and I'll bet you could just kick butt in the role and do it justice!

Dear Valley Girl:
Maybe if they were making another big-screen adaptation (which wouldn't be a bad idea, either), but this is for the small screen, babe. All those chicks you picked have huge blockbuster careers and aren't going to flee to TV land anytime soon. But speaking of Twilight, what do you think about Nikki Reed for Anne? Kinda works, no?

Dear Ted:
Dianna Agron
's pink hair…like it? My pink poodles want to know!

Dear Blonde at Heart:
Loved it. And it actually suited her personality better than her blonde locks.  Speaking of Di, I'm kinda digging her baby-mama drama storylines on Glee lately. Who knew the show could get back on track?

Dear Ted:
What is up with all these foreign actors wearing suits too small? Are they trying to show off something? I just saw a picture of Daniel Craig with a suit jacket on that could have fit my sister. And I love him, but what's the deal?

Dear 007 Inseam:
All the better to show off his muscles, P. Who cares about what he's wearing? I'm far more interested in the scoop of Mr. Craig when he's not wearing anything at all. You should be, too.

Dear Ted:
I've always rooted for Hank and Kendra, everything OK there?

Dear FamilE!:
Totally fine, well, except for a surprising lack of sexing of late. But I'm sure that will be resolved shortly.

Dear Ted:
I've had two grandparents that died fairly young to lung cancer. Congrats on your quest to give up smoking. All the talk of the new season of Dancing With the Stars has made me wonder if any of the professional dancers have a B.V.? I know Julianne Hough is no longer on the show, but does she have one as well? My kitties Mittens and Daisy would love to know. They love good gossip.

Dear Tango for Two:
The dancers? Nope. Not even Ms. Hough. But a few Vice stars have waltzed their way across that dance floor before. Any guesses who?

Dear Ted:
I love everything that Julia Roberts does and always have. I'm curious what the rest of Hollywood thinks of her. She was on Ellen's last B-day show and said some things that made me wonder if she is full of herself. I understand the protective-mom thing that I have seen in the press...but does it run deeper than that? Thanks.

Dear Onto Something:
You're correct is assuming Julia's not an ass-kisser who's enamored with the Hollywood elite. She really is the closest thing we have to another Elizabeth Taylor.

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