Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato

Michael Becker/PictureGroup

Dear Ted:
I'm really worried for Demi Lovato. As much as people say she already had "issues," I can't help but feel that Gronas flaunting their relationship has had a part in her situation! Not to mention that Nick seems to be the only one who cared enough to Tweet about it! Is it just me or is Joe turning into a grade-A jackass right now?
—Concerned Fan

Dear Joe Jackass:
You're not the only one who thinks that, babe. We think Ash and Joe definitely didn't help Demi's drama. The whole sitch was pretty awkward from the start (uh, hello! Why go on tour with the BF you're still totally crazy about?), and someone was bound to snap sooner or later. Just don't think anyone expected it to happen like this—especially not Joe.

Dear Ted:
I think the Six Degrees game is awfully fun! I would love to play too! Has Judas Jack-Off ever worked with Drew Smolder 'n' Such? Take care, hope you're doing OK on the not-smoking front. It's hard, I know.

Dear Sex Degrees:
Nope, but very close, though. And thanks for the no-cig support. Just hit three weeks, unbelievable!

Dear Ted:
I recently watched Portia De Rossi on Oprah and have to say I was quite impressed with her utter and complete joy at being Ellen DeGeneres' wife. Being a straight female, I cannot relate to being a lesbian, but after watching clips of Portia and Ellen at home and other places, and seeing Portia get all teary eyed over some of the facets of their life together, it really made it clear to me that finding true love is not about straight vs. gay, but about love, period. These two seem totally committed to each other, and I don't think it was an act put on to sell Portia's book. Am I right on this one?

Dear Lez-Be-Wives:
The truth is Portia and Ellen really are that happy. Hell, one of the happiest couples in H'wood—especially compared to a lot of the heterosexual messes. But you're right, it isn't gay vs. straight. That said, I'm sure it won't hurt her book sales to be happily married to America's fave chatty Cathy.

Dear Ted:
I understand the offense taken toward the gay joke in Vince Vaughn's new movie. But what about all the other jokes in entertainment about other groups? What about the jokes toward African Americans; the stereotypes toward people from the South? What about the generalizations about women, short people, blonds and Hispanics? The list goes on. There will always be jokes about certain groups and lifestyles in entertainment; why is a joke about gays any different? Making every group "off limits" seems like a lot of creative censorship to me. I find your protest about taking out that part of the film to be nothing but hypocritical. Might I remind you about how when people were trying to take smoking out of entertainment, you said they should also go after alcohol as well because of the hypocrisy?

Dear Too Far:
You're really stretching my words to the extreme, not what I said. Look, I'm gay, I'm going to bitch about anti-gay jokes whenever and wherever I see them, my right.

Dear Ted:
Is Chiquita on network or premium?

Dear Boob Tube:
Network, babe. Chiquita wants her face plastered all over prime time. Hate to say it, but she'll have to sleep with a few more execs to make that wish come true.

Dear Ted:
Has Darla Jones ever been linked to Parrish Maguire?

Dear Young Luv:
They've run in the same hump-happy circles before. Not so hot and bothered though, B. Trust.

Dear Ted:
This is really directed at the commenter "Stupid" (who requested that you stop calling women bitches), but I didn't want to write "Dear Stupid" because you might have thought I meant you. Not only is this my reply to Stupid, but as a free bonus, you get to see a picture of me, and this was on a bad day, I'm usually much more coolly glamorous. Hugs-N-Kisses.

Dear Cover Girl:
Too fab, M! And might I add you look marvelous.

Dear Ted:
It seems with great success comes great drama in Hollywood. So, how soon will we actually see the Glee cast fall into this? Maybe I'm just a pessimist, or just a too-frequent reader of your blog.

Dear Stage Drama:
Uh, Dana, where have you been? That set is a Blind Vice gold mine—drama doesn't even begin to describe it.

Dear Ted:
Do any of those celebrity fauxmances that help sell tickets/magazines/songs ever become real?

Dear Faux Hawking Goods:
Real annoying. Real transparent. Real desperate. Take your pick, G. But real? Of course not.

Dear Ted:
As you know Taylor Swift sometimes likes to name people in her songs, which may put boys off of her. Is there anyway they could draw up a confidentiality agreement saying that she can't name them in a song?

Dear Sing Along:
Evie, you don't think that he boys going after her now know about her songwriting schemes? Haven't you ever thought that maybe they want to have their names in the country cutie's hits?

Dear Ted:
I read your blog about Jamie Lee Curtis. That was very mean spirited, heartless and just plain rude. You don't know what transpired between her and her father, and to write that, is just like sticking a knife in someone's back and twisting it. If you only knew, that Christ called us to love one another, you would not say that. Who are we to judge? It probably breaks her heart to know that they cannot resolve their differences. Because he is dead. You should change the tone, and offer love...Sad. I never read you before, but that really bothered me, enough to say. God loves you anyway…

Dear Gimme a Break:
Hey, I'm just the messenger here: Talk-show blabbing Jamie Lee and her pissy-from-the-grave father are the ones having this battle, complain to them if you find it rude, mean or whatever.

Dear Ted:
I'm a gay guy but man, I would go completely straight for Sofia Vergara. The lady is super hot, talented and really funny. Every time I see her doing interviews my face hurts so much from laughing. Is she really sweet and funny in person? And can you tell me if the Colombian beauty has a Blind Vice?

Dear Columbian Catfight:
What would I Vice? Her diva ‘tude? She clearly doesn't keep that a secret. It's part of her charm.

Dear Ted:
Please don't laugh, but I have a guess for Terry Tush-Trade: Stephenie Meyer? If not, can you give me a clue? I love this Vice!

Dear Ha!
Sorry babe, couldn't help it. That's probably my favorite Vice guess...ever. Couldn't you just imagine Ms. Mormon Meyer getting all Blind Vice freaky on set? Yuck!

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