Bitch-Back! Where Should Sandra Go From Here?

Readers ponder Bullock and Jesse James marital fate

By Ted Casablanca Mar 24, 2010 12:19 PMTags
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Dear Ted:
From someone who has rescued 6 animals, and lost two of them, (I'm saying this so that you will feel sorry for me), please tell me your opinion on the whole Jesse James/Sandra Bullock debacle...will they stay together, etc. And what is up with all these Hollywood types not using condoms? What, they've never seen an STD commercial? Thank God I live in good ole PA, I can't take much more of Hollywood! PS, had you heard rumblings of Sandra's marriage?
Ami

Dear Team Bullock:
Shame on you, using your animals for dirt. Have to say JJ's douchiness was not entirely a surprise to this columnist—and now I'm hearing even Sandra had her suspicions, but, wanted to wait 'til after the Oscar to do anything about it. Personally, I hope SB grabs that Oscar of hers and hits Jesse over the head and ditches his sorry ass. I'm hearing that's the plan, too.

Dear Ted:
You have stated (many times) that the break-up between Reese and Jake was bad, but I don't remember you saying much in the way of actual details. Are you allowed (in blind fashion or hopefully out in the open) to discuss?
L

Dear Nice Try:
Let's just say it ended much more abruptly than anticipated.

Dear Ted:
Honey, you know I love ya, but why why why do you insist on keeping Kate Gosselin one notch higher than her loser ex? To me, they're equal. She is a complete sham, phony, of no discernable talent, and is milking her 15 min. of fame with the excuse that she has 8 kids to support. Umm, Ted, hello? She has plenty of money socked away and those kids have college scholarships waiting for them upon their high school graduation. They need their mother at home. I can't even begin to say how infuriated it makes me to think America keeps eating her up. She is a scam artist!
Mel

Dear Trash for Trash:
In my opinion, Kate is slightly above her loser ex. Don't get me wrong, I think both Gosselins have serious selling-out issues, but at least KG is doing something semi-productive with those 15 minutes rather than dating sleaze bag after sleaze bag. When was the last time Jon even saw his kids?

Dear Ted:
I've never emailed you before...first timer...but have been reading your column for years and love it. I've got a hunch on a Blind Vice, the first of which I think I have nailed and got me to e-mail you. So, can you answer my wild guess for B.V. Secretia and Chester? Is it Pink and her hubby Carey Hart? Again, love your column!

Dear Swing and a Miss:
Not a bad guess, dollface, but Secretia and Chester are totally the opposite of Pink and Carey. S & C don't look the rebellious type in their adorable pics together, but behind close door break all kinds of social norms.

Dear Ted:
I love when you talk about Toothy Tile, but I miss hearing about his partner, Grey Goose and their Baby Tile. Can you tell us anything sweet about the lovely family Tile?
Kate

Dear Family Matters:
I think the whole fam's getting' close to pulling a Bullock, sorry to say.

Dear Ted:
Has Hugh Grant been in the Blind Vice and if so, was it one of your "famous" Blind Vices ?
T

Dear Dictionary:
Not sure what you consider famous, but I'm gonna say no.

Dear Ted:
While Hollywood is obviously another world and I view every "couple" as a dubious arrangement with various "allowances" to benefit careers, I honestly think Sandra Bullock was completely blindsided (no pun intended) by her d-bag soon to be ex-husband. Am I being naive?
Smy

Dear Jaded:
Just a bit. Still...take it from experience, I do believe women have amazing intuition and can usually sense something is off in a relaysh. Unless James is that good of a liar, but judging from how easy it was to get Bombshell McGee to tell all, Jesse doesn't strike me as the brightest crayon in the box.

Dear Ted:
Love Anne Hathaway. I know it's not her big film but she really cracked me up in Get Smart (on the tube the other night). Has she been a BV, or have her vices already been public. Thanks Ted!
99

Dear Good Girl:
Feeling's mutual RE: Miss Hathaway. She hasn't fallen victim to the dark part of our blolumn, no.

Dear Ted:
Whatever happened to Nicole Kidman's relationship with Connor and Isabella? They seem to be with Tomkat 24/7...does Nicole even see them anymore?
Curious

Dear Case of the Disappearing Kids:
Ah yes, fabola question. Let's just say that Nicole's house isn't exactly Connor and Isabella's favorite place to be. I hear they adore the TomKat life.

Dear Ted:
I know, I know, "consider the source." But could Michelle McGee's comment that Jesse and Sandra had "a kind of contract" have some merit? After all, we know that Hollywood types sometimes contract relationships/marriages to keep their "straight" image, so why not for a host of other career related reasons as well? (Like perhaps publicity?)
R.D.

Dear Slut Patrol:
Doubtful.

Dear Ted:
Has Taylor Swift ever been a Blind Vice? And if not, do you think it's likely that she will be one in the near future?
Naomi

Dear Country Dud:
I hope so, you're not a real celeb until you've starred in your very own BV, which at this point, Tay has yet to do. Soon, though.

Dear Ted:
Addicted to your column, but I'm also addicted to Lost. I know you probably won't answer this question (I really hope you do) but what is the cast like behind the scenes? Do they all get along, , any secret liaisons? Is Evangeline as religious and as sweet as she makes out?
Sarah

Dear Lostie:
Sure, there are a few dirty secrets hidden in the cast, but compared to Grey's Anatomy it's peachy friggin' keen. I'm an Evangeline Lily fan, too. She's been totally sweet and cool whenever we've run into her. And, yes, she drinks mightily from the religious fountain.

Dear Ted:
Greetings from Birmingham. Thanks to you and your column, I have flourished from a deluded gossip reader to a "read between the lines" nut. I support Jennifer Aniston's single lifestyle right now of tanning, cocktails, hanging out with friends and basically not having any responsibilities. It must be very refreshing to be able to let her hair down. My question is, is she actually waiting for the ideal A-list leading man to level the playing field with Brad? Or does she not care and will look for love wherever.
Merrin

Dear Cabo Wabo:
As long as the dude can mix a mean margarita I don't think Jen is too picky about what men she'll hang with. Of course, if it gives her current film press in the meantime, better. Have to agree with you 'tho, I'm liking the sorta not give a crap Jen, too. Aniston has always been the type to pick fun over settling down, which is cool by me. She just needs to own it! None of this America's Sweetheart crap which is a title I think she's finally ditching.

Dear Ted:
I was just wondering what Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are like behind closed doors? They seem to have a very healthy, functional private which is surprising considering all the baggage Demi brought with her. What's their secret?
Nicky

Dear Chiller Couple:
Actually, I've heard great things about Demi and Ashton as a married unit. Their Blind Vice's certainly bond them together.

Dear Ted:
Now that Sandra Bullock's marriage is on the rocks...Any chance of Keanu Reeves and Sandy coupling?
Michelle

Dear Speed Demon:
Uh, no. I wish.

Dear Ted:
Is the Miley-Liam relationship more or less fake than Tay-squared?
—JA

Dear Young Hollywood:
Less. Miley's too horny to be in a relaysh for show!

________

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