Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson

Marion Curtis/PictureGroup

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Robsten being called just "friends with benefits"? Seems to be more than that.

Dear Oh, Please:
That term is for people who don't want to commit, and we assure you, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are seriously committed to one another. They'd have to be at this point to keep their relationship going through all this behind-the-scenes drama.

Dear Ted:
Regarding Diablo Cody being the screenwriter for Breaking Dawn I think that would be a great step for Summit, Juno was genius. Let's just hope that Breaking Dawn doesn't tank like Jennifer's Body, but as long as Megan Fox keeps her paws off the Twilight franchise and that includes Robert Pattinson, then Breaking Dawn will be a success.

Dear Home Skillet:
Megan Fox could lick her lips all through Breaking Dawn and it would still be a hit. She had nada to do with Transformers and the sequel making bazillions at the box-office. Some flicks are destined to make it big regardless of who's in them.

Dear Ted:
This is not really a question but I felt as if it must be said (or typed). I know a lot of people out there really want those gay stars to come out. People even say, "I will love them no matter what"! What you have to remember is that even California voters shot down Prop 8. There is even less tolerance in many of the other 50 states either. They can't come out! What would it do to them? They have a lot more people to worry about than just their fans! Please let them be! Ted, you can keep us guessing with your BV's. I love that s--t!

Dear Out and About:
If every last gay man and woman came out, there wouldn't be a person left on earth who didn't personally know a homosexual. Some careers in the present would suffer, but for the greater good for those after them. And ya know what? Neil Patrick Harris has never been a more coveted actor/host in his life, and he came out years ago to absolutely no negative stigma at all. Stars shouldn't keep closeted "just in case" people might react otherwise.

Dear Ted:
Is Ryan Phillippe Topher Hairy-Tuchus? He seems like a good fit. And it seems the BVs are cooling off a bit. I can't wait for Spring when everyone starts humping again! Oh, and do you have your New Moon tickets yet? Need a date?

Dear Mooning Over Blinds:
No need to get New Moon tickets this far in advance—it'll be in theatres long enough for every fangirl (et moi) to see it dozens of times. So no, sweetie, and no to Ryan as THT, too.

Dear Ted:
Why don't we ask about Russell Crowe? Same reason you don't post shirtless pictures of him on your webpage. He's a douche whose sex appeal didn't last beyond the time it took to film Gladiator. In the interests of balance and just so you don't think we believe all gay men are well groomed with nice hair please dish about Vin Diesel, John Travolta and Mike Myers. We won't give a rat's ass about the answer, though, because we mostly prefer well groomed men with nice hair, but knock yourself out.

Dear Blech Men:
Uh, do I have to talk about Mike Myers? I'd much prefer not, mostly because any goss on the notoriously aggravating man has already been spread and he hasn't done one smart career move in years—even his five seconds working with Tarantino in Inglourious Basterds was a huge letdown.

Dear Ted: 
I think I have figured out who Nevis Devine is: Chris Evans!
Apollo James

Dear Wrong:
Don't quit your day job!

Dear Ted:
We saw the great pictures of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart on Eclipse set. She always looks great and they look great and happy together but why is she keeping her hair in Joan Jett style? It must be growing out and yet she keeps it in shag and dyes it black. I read that she is keeping it this way because she may need to do some more Runaways shooting. Is this true? Any other theories?
KStew Fan

Dear Hairy Matters:
Reshoots is most likely the answer, but I can smell you want something far more fishier. Maybe she likes looking as unfeminine as possible?

Dear Ted:
What are you smoking? I think Mr. Alec Baldwin handled the batty-fan demand of putting Robert Pattinson on 30 Rock uncharacteristically politely; he hardly seems to "hate" Rob as you stated. Even if Rob Pattinson is funny behind the scenes, it does not prove in the slightest that he is a talented comedic actor, or even wants to be (despite anyone else's obsessions about controlling his career). Justin Timberlake, on the other hand, has already proved his comic chops, and no surprise if 30 Rock is interested.

Dear 30 Rocky Road:
How are we ever going to find out just how funny R.Pattz is (or isn't) if we don't see it once? And please, 30 Rock might be raking in the awards, but it still could win some more viewers. Why do ya think they brought Jen Aniston on board for a guest role?

Dear Ted:
With all the talk about Jennifer Aniston always picks the wrong guys, I started wondering about Vince Vaughn. He seems like as decent and "regular" a guy as you can find in Hollywood, and the fact that he's now engaged to a "regular" girl (not a celebrity) seems to confirm that. So is he a great guy, and Jen just screwed up? Or is that image all PR and he's a player like all the others? Thanks!

Dear Looking in the Wrong Places:
V2's as mature as John Mayer at least back when he dated Aniston. Doesn't mean Vince is a player, necessarily, just not someone a classy-acting babe like Jen can settle down with. She needs to search outside the frat house for a fella.

Dear Ted:
I think it's strange that some married couples in Hollywood aren't ever photographed together. Take Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner for instance. They have been married for years, have children, and are never seen together. Seems like they would attend awards shows together if nothing else. Are they that private? Or is there trouble in paradise? It's just not...normal!

Dear Newbie:
You gotta be new to this column. Welcome, and yes, we wouldn't call the Affleck-Garner home a "paradise".

Dear Ted:
Is Jackie Bouffant working on a movie right now?

Dear Yes:
He usually is. Dude knows how to keep his career rolling right along!

Dear Ted:
What's up with Alexander Skarsgard? First he's linked with True Blood castmate Evan Rachel Wood, and then with Straw Dogs co-star Willa Holland. Then, ERW once again, and now it's been reported he was cuddly and holding hands with another Straw Dogs co-star Kate Bosworth. All the while, people are saying he was dating a Spanish actress as well. First off, what's with the co-stars? Is he sharing the love (and fang) with all these ladies? Bouncing from one to the other? Or just one? Give us the real from the rumor, Ted!

Dear Gal Hopper:
We can only speak for what we see for ourselves—Alex with Evan in total cutesy love-mode. But didja ever think the TV stud is with all of them? We don't see a ring on anybody's finger.

Dear Ted:
Is Whore-Hey Hoeman Donald Trump or Howard Stern?

Dear Wrong Biz:
So way off.

Dear Ted:
What do you think is the reason for Samantha Ronson sticking with Lindsey Lohan? She can totally find someone better with less baggage/drama, and someone her family will actually like! I just don't get it, she seems so nice, and Lilo just not so much....

Dear Off and On:
Methinks it's because Sammy simply feels bad for her—and also cause she just can't get rid of her. Linds has been locked out of Sam's house and thrown out of a Ronson family fete—and yet she keeps coming back for more like a lil' helpless totally-out-of-it puppy.

Dear Ted:
You should start a thread for Jackson Rathbone and Ashley Greene. They have great chemistry and would make a really cute couple.

Dear RathGreene:
At this rate, Ashley's gonna be linked to every last man in H'wood. And good on her for it! Why should the menfolk get to play the field while the ladies wait around for Mr. Right? Please.

Dear Ted:
Is Me-Me Dallas a singer as well as an actress? And is she a Disney star?

Dear Sneaky:
I'm only answering one of those. Yes, she also sings.

Dear Ted:
I'm so happy to read so many supporters have taken the words right out of my do what you need to do to cope with your current crisis! My mom always said you have to pick your vices carefully, and if you're like me cigarettes are the least dangerous of those vices. This is a little trick that helped me when I cut back (but I never did completely cut out)—smoke American Spirits. They are packed hard and full and it's kind of a chore to finish one. It will slow you down, anyway. I started smoking half of one instead of sucking down a whole Parliament, and now I smoke 1/2 - 1 a day. You'll find somebody right for you, no doubt in my mind! You're rocking the Harrison Ford-when-he-was-still-hot thing—hell, you could probably land a straight dude.
Ang and friends

Dear Smokin':
Oh goody, a sloppily-dressed straight dude who has no idea what he's doing with another man in the sack—can't friggin' wait to get my hands on that. Thanks for the compliment, 'tho, babe, Indiana Jones and Han Solo are some classic cinematic studs.

Dear Ted:
I was hoping you could clear something up for me relating to a rumor I've heard on and off for the last decade or so. To the best of your knowledge, is there any truth to the rumor that Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix were more than just friends?

Dear Let the Dead Rest:
Of course they were more than just friends. They were also co-stars.

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