Megan Fox, Rolling Stone, Inside

Rolling Stone

Dear Ted:
Megan Fox is awesome. She says what's on her mind. She's hardcore and she's hot. I don't care about Rob Pattinson, but I'm sure he hit that on the way. There's no way you pass that without even looking. Maybe an a-sexual? But seriously, Rob and Megan would be damn sexy in a movie.

Dear Too Foxy:
Well, according to our source, they did "hit" that! But Rob's not really into the man-eating vixen type, at least not in the long term. And we're not so sure about Meg co-starring with R.Pattz, especially not if the Robstenites have any say in it. (And their money certainly will speak volumes to movie execs.)

Dear Ted:
Did Megan Fox lose any points in Hollywood for not being able to open a movie? Jennifer's Body didn't do that well at the box office even with the much promoted girl and girl action...

Dear Body Bomb:
You better believe Meg's under fire for Jennifer's Body doing badly. What good is an oversexualized sexpot if no one will pay to check her out on the big-screen? Think it's maybe because drooling men have seen her for free on the cover of every last magazine out there? But, Meg's far from over—as if.

Dear Ted:
Recently it's been reported that Kate Walsh trotted out a new boyfriend at the Emmy Awards, but I have heard rumors that she is a Sapphic sister and her marriage was a sham. So please, tell me once and for all, is that guy her boyfriend or her "boyfriend?"

Dear Walsh Wonder:
If she is, she's doing a bad job of trotting him out—girl will barely even talk about him. Usually it's the stars who pimp out their significant others who are the ones trying to distract you from what they don't want you to see—their real sexuality.

Dear Ted:
Why all the hate on Robert Pattinson nowadays?

Dear Tough Love:
What hate? Sure you're not confusing us with Alec Baldwin?

Dear Ted:
Is "witchy" Selena Gomez Me-Me Dallas?

Dear Young Ones:
Close, darling, but still so wrong.

Dear Ted:
Oh, come on Ted! Yeah, Taylor Lautner is delicious to look at, but seriously, he's just another hot body until proven otherwise, and um, they are honestly a dime a dozen. Rob has proven over and over again that not only is he totally orgasmic but he's got some serious personality and a "je ne sais quoi" under that coif. I totally heart the idea of TL and Taylor Swift though. I love her and want to see her with someone who isn't a tool. And, I wanted to say, big love coming from me to you—I'm very sorry for your break up. Keep your head up, love.

Dear Taylor Talkin':
Maybe Taylor Squared will become a reality in a few years when they're older and have already hooked up with half of H'wood? They're too cute not to happen, but truth be told, we get all giggly thinking of Lautner and Swift making the necessary rounds at all the industry fetes before getting together.

Dear Ted:
I just want to say that I've been reading your posts since you were on that E! show with about 10 celebrity gossipers (yeah I know that's not a word) but I always liked you the best. My question is not about Robsten, but a general question: Do you think it's not worth it to live in Hollywood since most people seem to be either hiding things or not living their lives as they truly wish? Are the Hollywood perks worth it?

Dear Hollywood Life:
Depends what your priorities are. Does having a mansion and a live in maid and all that superficial stuff outweigh being true to yourself? For some people in T-town, it surely does. And thanks for the kudos!

Dear Ted:
I'm going thru serious, massive Orlando Bloom withdrawal. When will I see his pretty face on-screen again and what's my fave pirate-elf working on?

Dear Outdated Crush:
He's working on his relaysh with Miranda Kerr, which seems to be Orly's main MO at the mo' as opposed to maintaining his career. Sorta sad, considering he was totally the R.Pattz of fangirls' and boy's hearts back in his heyday.

Dear Ted:
Why do you think Jen Aniston seems to get "involved" with every male actor she works with? And why should we really care who she's sleeping with, as her partners change from one movie to the next? Yawn.

Dear Asleep:
Because deep down, we all want Jen to live happily ever after, and in most people's minds, that means by marrying another man and having kids. And she knows this is what the public wants out of her, which explains why every guy in her line of vision suddenly becomes another possible daddy for her imaginary offspring.

Dear Ted:
So, switching to women, uh? Now good luck with that! You know what they say about all men being pervs and all women being nuts? So true. But anyway, I have a question: Is Judas Jack-Off more like Kellan Lutz (meaning a hunk from the very beginning) or more like babyface Taylor Lautner (meaning he hulked up later on)? C´mon, Teddy, I know you can answer that!

Dear Twi Man Mix:
He's a nice combination of the two of those hunks heating up chilly Vancouver .

Dear Ted:
Is there any way we could keep Paula Abdul on American Idol and have Ellen DeGeneres replace Kara DioGuardi instead?

Dear Wishful Thinking:
The only way we're seeing Paula on Idol again is if she's auditioning. And since fans are still iffy on the four judge format, consider Kara's tenure on the reality competish officially in trouble.

Dear Ted:
Ok, since you're switching to women, I have two suggestions for you: Kathy Griffin or Chelsea Handler. I could just see a reality show with you and one of them. You get the dirt and they have no problem telling us all about it. I would think I'd died and gone to goss heaven!
—Cathy , TX

Dear Great Idea:
A babe with a snappy sense of humor are the best gal pals to have, fer sure—and I'd definitely be a more lively date for Kathy than Levi Johnston. However, believe I'll pass. As if they asked!

Dear Ted:
Don't get me wrong, I love Robsten all the way. Rob and Kristen equally give me yummy feelings. But I was thinking the other day that an onscreen pairing of Kristen and Ryan Gosling would be mm-mm-good. She has that awkward sex appeal that seems to only give when she's on screen and he has that funny little way of worming his charm into anything—even K's difficult (but not uncharming) nature. How do you feel about this pairing? Personally I see electric sparks. Oh and also, what's with all these Rob and Megan Fox onscreen pairing suggestions? Why not Megan and KStew on screen?

Dear tktk:
Now that's a pairing we love—though nobody showed up to see Meg and the seriously adorable Amanda Seyfried liplock on camera in Jennifer's Body, so what the ef do we know? And we'd see Mr. Gosling just about anything—K.Stew co-starring would just be the icing on the cake.

Dear Ted:
Is Judas Jack-Off Matt Dallas?

Dear Running Out of Guesses:
Nope—think of a dude much more obviously one half of a manly pair.

Dear Ted:
Are we over Paris Hilton? I haven't seen her her reign over with?

Dear Hilton Hangover:
Pare-poo's reign was over awhile ago. She jumped the shark somewhere around breaking it off with Benji and hooking up with drama-loving Doug Reinhardt. And that desperate documentary barely anyone watched was Par still trying to keep her name out there. Her best PR move now would to pull a Nicole Richie and settle the ef down already.

Dear Ted:
Do you have any dirt on Hugh Laurie? He's admitted to at least one affair in the past.
—Curious House-Watcher

Dear House Sitting:
Usually it's the people that don't openly admit their Vices that we get dirt on. Hugh's doing all the dirty work for me.

Dear Ted:
Am I the only one who thinks Ian Somerhadler looks like a not-as-hot version of Chace Crawford?

Dear Twinsies:
Maybe that's why Ashley Greene upgraded from Ian to Chace?

Dear Ted:
Has Tom Cruise ever been the subject of a Blind Vice? I still think something is fishy between TomKat. It seems too strange, and Katie Holmes seems like a Stepford Wife. What's up with them?

Dear Late to the Party:
Is it still 2005 where you are? You're just realizing now that something strange is going on at the Cruise-Holmes house? Yes, Mr. Cruise is a most impressive Vicer, so sleep well tonight.

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