I am so sick of Michael Jackson, already, let him rest in peace. Why are they giving his movie 15 premieres? Are people really going to see this?
—Darryl, via the Answer B!tch inbox
How dare you, sir? Only "legend," "king," "icon"—or a repeat of "legend"—can be used in discussing Michael Jackson and his incredibly special, totally humble family. A man has died.
According to my research, you share a mindset with thousands, probably millions, of other feckless, Godless people worldwide. But not enough feckless, Godless people worldwide.
Even now, nearly three months after Jackson's family trotted out his gold-cased corpse on live TV, some people still want to see the upcoming documentary This Is It.
How do I know? Well...