Bitch-Back!: Is There a New Brangie in Town?

Readers respond to Robsten, True Blood hotties and awful plastic surgery

By Ted Casablanca Sep 08, 2009 5:30 PMTags
LeAnn Rimes, Eddie CibrianDan Power, Lifetime Networks

Dear Ted:
I'm tired of hearing all this news about LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian. In my opinion they are just a D-Class version of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Both are liars and cheaters and they should be ashamed of their actions. After claiming the two have nothing going on romantically and next thing you know the two are prancing around town smiling at the cameras, they might as well wear T-shirts that say "pay attention to us please" while out on their public rendezvous.
—Faye

Dear Caught Couple:
They're just relieved they don't have to keep living a charade any longer. Which is exactly what Brad and Angie did once it got out they were together —they pranced in full view on an exotic beach with Jolie's kiddies. We're positive this is how Robsten will behave once their relaysh can't be denied any longer.

Dear Ted:
I know you're a huge fan of Alexander Skarsgård, but did you see these photos? What do you make of the fact that 33-year-old Skarsgard (and his best friend) are hanging out with two teenagers? Looks like alcohol is involved as well.
—Doesn't Like Pedos

Dear Molehill:
Looks like they're having fun. And how are you so certain those girls are younger than 18? Wake us up when something truly inflammatory gets leaked.

Dear Ted:
Hope you had a great vacay and were able to recharge. Question: Robert Pattinson seems to have his manager and agent tightly at his side during most major events (Oscars, MTV awards, etc.) Is this his choice or are they really that afraid their golden boy will jump the tracks if let out in public alone? Honestly, I have never seen a star so obviously "handled" but all appearances are that he truly enjoys their company.
—Pdoty

Dear Well Watched:
Who else would Robert bring as his date? Kristen Stewart? Another girl? R.Pattz staring in the general direction of a lady makes people believe they've got something going on—dude's got no choice but to bring his platonic business pals as his plus one.

Dear Ted:
Forget Robsten, I adore Kristen Stewart. She reminds me of a young Jodie Foster—and I recently discovered she played Jodie's daughter in Panic Room. Tell me, is Kristen following Jodie's professional and personal path to long-lasting Hollywood success?
—Jane

Dear Mother Like Daughter:
Their careers are not exactly identical (Jodie got an Oscar nom by age 13), but if Twilight and Adventureland are any indication, Kris at least knows how to pick good roles, something JF was good at—at least til a couple years ago.

Dear Ted:
What has happened with Ashley Judd? I never hear about her or see her in any movies anymore. Has she retired?
—D

Dear Caught!:
Actually, we spotted her driving around Beverly Hills just the other day. I can't say anything for a sighting in movies, though, babe.

Dear Ted:
Why, oh, why doesn't someone, anyone, tell these celebrities that plastic surgery on their faces looks horrendous?! It does nothing to make them look younger, it just makes them look like they are all wearing the same cat-inspired mask. The clown-like lips are absolutely ridiculous. Can they not look at someone like Michael Jackson and see how bad he looked and realize that if they go under the knife themselves that they too will end up looking like that? What's wrong with these people? Does no one have the balls to say something?
—Deb

Dear Ball Buster:
Looks like you do! But would you say it to their mangled faces? Probably not. Especially if a ton of 'em still manage to get good parts, and everyone wants to ride on a successful celeb's coattails.

Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Adrian Brody?
—Babs

Dear Sleuth:
Nope—think much more conventionally attractive.

Dear Ted:
What is the point of marrying a gay guy? I can see why LeAnn Rimes wants out of her marriage, but she made the choice, right? I don't see how it furthered her career in any way. I thought maybe she was gay as well, but now she is with Eddie so my theory is blown... so, again what was the point?
—Steph

Dear Queer Wonder:
For the record, LeAnn and Dean never confirmed either of them were swinging the gay way. But did it ever occur to you that some babes don't know they're marrying a fagola? If a fella, however effeminate, woos a gal to the altar, maybe she loves him so much she stays in denial that he might not be so trustworthy after all.

Dear Ted:
On the blog Waiting for Toothy, we named the Austin Nichols/Robert Buckley pairing "Buckin." Buckin is the best thing that happened to the Toothy tale since Toothy became this closeted boring guy and is parading his unpleasant beard non-stop. It's great news that Gray Goose wised up and said a big "f---k you" to Toothy choosing a hotter man! We count on you for the dish and info about them.
—Melanie

Dear Buckin Stops Here:
Thanks, babe, but what makes you think you have everything so neatly figured out? 

Dear Ted:
I read your Robsten post and I understood it, but I still need a confirmation. Are you saying that everyone that is directly involved with the whole situation says they're dating? Thanks for the post.
—Valerie

Dear Between the Lines:
Obviously, you didn't understand it 100 percent, since we plainly stated, "It's become clear to anyone who works with them—Rob and Kristen are very much together." Got it now?

Dear Ted:
You don't hear of any Disney stars making a big name for themselves in the movie industry. They have a rep of it all going to hell in their teenage years. Do you think any of the current Disney stars have the potential of becoming a Jolie or a Pitt?
—Ambarsand 

Dear Disney Disaster:
You mean tabloid fodder? Drama kings and queens? Uh, check and check already for the lot of them. BTW, last we heard, former Mousketeer Justin Timberlake's actually making the movie star thing happen, and the Hannah Montana and Jonas Bros flicks were doing pretty damn well on the big-screen. Just who are you referring to, hon?

Dear Ted:
First, I wanted to say that my mom, sister, and I are addicted to The Awful Truth, especially because of your wonderful work with shelter animals. Keep up the good work! My question is this: My mother was recently googling Toothy Tile clues, and she found that Ryan Gosling's nickname is Baby Goose. She has thus concluded that he is Gray Goose. I'm not so sure. Is Ryan Gosling in any way relevant to Toothy?
—Izzy 

Dear Gos Goose:
Toothy would prolly like to do him! (Who wouldn't?) But otherwise, no.

Dear Ted:
Either you or whoever runs this site has some real issues. I decided to come back to visit your site and see what new comments have been made regarding the wrongfully title article "Spector's Son Didn't Like Phil Either." To my surprise, when I tried to post a comment replying to another, my name now shows up as "The Ashamed." What is that about? Some weird twisted joke of yours or someone else's? I find it very offensive. There is nothing I am ashamed of. I am GP Spector and I am certainly not ashamed of that or of my father. I look forward to receiving a reply, letting me know that my name has been corrected.
—GPSpector 

Dear Gary:
No idea why your name was changed, certainly not a joke of mine or anybody at the AT. We have no power over usernames. Our IT people are looking into it. My apologies.

Dear Ted:
Did everyone forget about Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Angel and Buffy were the original Edward and Bella! That series was way better than Twilight will ever be. Since vamps are all-the-rage right now, you'd think it would be really popular again! I think they should start playing it on TV again, what do you think?
—Octwirler

Dear Buff Babe:
You're not far off—they're rebooting the Buffy franchise and making it darker, less campy, and for the big-screen. Sounds highly suspect to us, but makes sense to hop on the vampire bandwagon while it's still got some bite.

Dear Ted:
Is Twyla Babe-Sucker still considered Twyla Babe-Sucker or have her problems been fixed?
—Supergirl 

Dear Twyla Trouble:
Not really, sorry. 

Dear Ted:
I love Hayden Christensen, and think he really should get more credit for his acting. I think the Star Wars nerds were just mad at him because he got some in Episode II and III. I have heard he is engaged, but I was wondering if you have any more info on him.
—Mary 

Dear Oh, Christensen:
Hayden's status in regard to Rachel Bilson is still up in the air since both parties aren't into declaring their love TomKat style. Certainly says something about their relationship, no?

Dear Ted:
I have to ask your opinion on Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas. I'd love to see those crazy kids make it work; now it looks like they had some unexplained bust-up over the past couple of months and have both moved on. So, Ted, tell me the truth, is there any hope for Niley?
—Hannah

Dear Tween Queen:
In the long run? No. They're friggin' teenagers, they've got their whole lives to hook up with other hot young things. But we can seriously see a Niley reunion here and there whenever they run into one another in H'wood or at Disney shindigs.

Dear Ted:
Has Josh Harnett been in a Blind Vice?
—Centaur

Dear Hard for Hartnett:
He hasn't been in our Blind Vices or a good movie in ages. Dude's seriously  gotta work on building some buzz.

Dear Ted:
Are Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki the new Cary Grant and Randolph Scott? PS: Your awful team did a hell of a good job, but it's great seeing you on board again!
—Audrey

Dear Pair Up:
In terms of class and sophistication? Nowhere close. In regards to something else? Perhaps. And thanks, that's why they're here!

Dear Ted:
Has Deep Twi told you if New Moon and Eclipse will be steamier than Twilight? Twilight (the book) had far more kissy-kissy than the movie. If it weren't for Robsten being as scorching as they are, the movie would have been a big disappointment. Please tell me that Summit will keep closer in line with the books from here on out!
—Angel

Dear Spoiler Alert!:
Expect much, much more steam to come. Bella gets knocked up in Breaking Dawn, remember, and it ain't no virgin birth. (That said, don't count on any triple-X action, save it for your daydreams—or here.)

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