Wait, that wasn't the finale? They brought out the Hoff and everything!
No, there are still a couple more weeks to this America's Got Talent thing, and five (more on that later) lucky acts were informed Wednesday that they will be moving on to the final round in Las Vegas, which airs Sept. 15.
But while elimination nights are always exciting, and Kermit and Miss Piggy also showed up to warble "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," it was host Nick Cannon, looking lankier than ever in his semifinals tuxedo, who really had to turn it on tonight.
"To me, he's one of the coolest men to ever step foot on television," he gushed as he introduced a "real American icon" to the stage.
"He acts, he sings, he dances and he also talks a lot on this show. With a Hofftastic performance of feeling good, give it up for David Hasselhoff!"
First prize should go to Cannon for making it through that without giggling or falling over or being struck by lightning or something.
The theatrics were followed by Hasselhoff's serviceable, Broadway-style rendition of the much-interpreted "Feelin' Good."
After that, who even cared who the finalists were?
Well, the finalists, for one.
Country trio the Texas Tenors, wisecracker Grandma Lee, crooner Kevin Skinner and—due to the judges' unanimous pussyfooting—both Fab Five and Voices of Glory will be making the trip to Vegas for the finals.
First up, Sharon Osbourne was no help, as she refused to pick between the those last two.
"I can't, I won't do it. I can't do it, Nick, sorry," she squeaked. Hasselhoff then passed it to Piers Morgan, who you figure would have ruled the panel with an iron fist.
But it turns out he's a big softy, too.
"There is only one fair way to conclude this," the all-business Brit began. "There is going to be no judges' pick. We're going to throw the walls up. We're going to send you both to the final."
You can imagine how happy all the finalists were, and how pleased the judges were with themselves.
The remaining 10 acts perform next week.
________
These finalists will be waking up in Vegas soon enough. Here's hoping they have as much fun as the celebs in our Party Pics: Vegas gallery.