Gwyneth Paltrow

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If Gwyneth Paltrow didn't already bore us enough, she's somehow managed to put us completely in a deep coma with her latest dip in the design world. The ZOEtee's LOVES Gwyneth Paltrow collection goes on sale at Matches Fashion next week, and Gwynnie didn't just slap her name on the tag, she was personally involved with picking the fabrics, cuts, packaging, the whole fashion shebang. How very GOOPy of her!

Which means we can point-blank blame Paltrow for creating the drabbest friggin' celebrity fashion line in existence:

See a preview of the colorless duds for yourself over at Marie Claire's U.K. site—everything's in a gloomy gray cotton that is prolly supercomfy, but it's all dreary as hell.

Paltrow basically made designer clothing she can still do yoga in, which makes sense for her, since she's practically in Pilates 24/7. What about the rest of us who wanna wear something exciting when we go out? Are we forced to flip through racks of Lauren Conrad's collection? Yech.

And what does G.P. charge for her ho-hum exercise evening wear? Prices start at $200! We can swing by Target and get the same damn thing—in a more attractive color, no less—for 40 bucks.

Where's that spark Gwyn had during her Iron Man press tour? She dressed in S&M-esque, totally out-there frocks that most moms couldn't pull off (and sometimes Gwyn couldn't either), but we applauded her fashion audacity, as she surly deserved it. But is she now planning on wearing this colorless stuff when she's out on red carpets for Iron Man 2? If so, prepare to be seriously upstaged by Scarlett Johansson, Gwyn, like you weren't gonna be already.

Oh, and couldn't resist sharing this totally spot-on parody vid (starring Saturday Night Live's Abby Elliott) of Gwyneth's GOOP home-therapy cooking sessions—if only Gwyneth were this entertaining! Jeez, woman, where are the chops that earned you an Oscar? Remember those heady days? Gone forever, are they?

—Additional reporting by Becky Bain

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