Oh, what a Hollywood pic of enviable and domestic bliss we have in the very handsome couple that is Snort-Up and Sass-Bitch Summerland. I mean, babes, they have it all: heaps of good looks, great bods, he's got a pretty stand-up career as an actor (Hers? Less so), they both have very beautiful hair, not to mention tons and tons of family loot. What's not to be jealous of?
Uh, for starters, the fact that they screw around on each other, right and un-safe sex left, they scream and yell at each other, he takes more drugs than Sienna Miller chases after married men, plus, he can't keep a friggin' job 'cause he's doin' so much of a the blow these days!
Hey, yeah, everybody really wants to be them, uh-huh.
But, folks are wondering, why does Sass-Bitch stay with Snort-Up, as his flagrant disregard for their agreement to have "discreet" encounters with others is totally getting ignored by Snort-Up's highly visible philandering. Her reason?
"They're both waiting for the next installment of his family inheritance to come in," says a friend who knows the couple well. "They don't care about each other, it's the money they're concerned about—that's it."
Wow. Really healthy reason to stay together, huh? I mean, even the Gosselins know it's best to split up, regardless what ratings cash comes their way.
Oh, and another thing: Snort-Up's notorious gf? They keep breaking up, over and over, only to get back together as often. And guess what keeps reuniting them? It ain't Snort-Up's loot, I'll tell ya that much (she's got her own).
"It's the drugs," says the Summerland's mutual friend, who knows Mr. Summerland's mistress also quite well. "They do piles of coke, have tons of sex, come down, break up, then start the whole thing all over again. Meanwhile, the wife's just off spending all their money."
Mrs. S.'s obviously not investing in rehab for her hubby anytime soon, 'cause the dude would probably divorce her the sec he sobered up!
It Ain't: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; Beyoncé and Jay-Z; Julia Roberts and Danny Moder