Nicki Minaj's baby boy got her heartbeat runnin' away.
Though the "Super Bass" rapper is known for her boldness, as seen in her Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II commercial, she's admittedly found herself with what she described as "more anxiety" since becoming a mom. Having welcomed her son, who she shares with Kenneth Petty, at the height of 2020 lockdowns, Nicki shared that it "feels like my heart is being ripped out" whenever she now has to be away for work.
"I'm very attached to my son," she explained to E! News' Justin Sylvester in an exclusive interview. "I remember being in the U.K. and just bawling. And when I try to FaceTime him, I get more sad. So, I try to hold out on FaceTiming him because to then put the phone down is so difficult."
And because Nicki wants to be the one to do everything, she said that the 2-year-old—who has been affectionately nicknamed Papa Bear—has "never had a nanny." Understandably, this has led to what the hitmaker described as "fear and anxiety" in the balance between parenting duties and her booming career.
"I'm a Trinidadian woman. Culturally, we're not really used to nannies and strangers taking care of the babies," she said. "It's not a bad thing when moms do it. It's just that I have to get conditioned. I have to get it out of my mind that it's a weird thing, because there are tons of celebrities that are doing it and they're raising amazing children."
Calling her son "the light of my world," Nicki added that she was initially surprised by how the anxiety crept up on her.
"I think moms feel like they have to be perfect," she shared. "I hate that I have more anxiety now because you're like, 'What if the one time I leave my child, I get that phone call?'"
So, does this mean she's done with having more kids? Not quite.
"I do want to have more. Not at this moment, but I don't want to deprive my son of siblings," Nicki said. "Having siblings, it causes you to have problem management skills early on in life. I would feel guilty if I didn't give Papa Bear another sibling or two."
And if anyone knows a thing about the power of a squad, it's the rap queen herself. After all, she teamed up with Pete Davidson, Lil Baby, Kane Brown and NFL stars Jalen Ramsey and David Long Jr. for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II's new ad.
"I was really in awe at how many people love Call of Duty and how many people play it," she said. "It gives them joy."
While Nicki says she's "too busy" now to drop in on a regular basis, she's open to picking up the controller again if her son ever gets into video games.
"I'll have to upgrade my little stash," Nicki quipped. "I'm officially about to start gearing up right now."