Jana Kramer is reflecting on her past as she moves towards the future.
The 38-year-old shared a message about the alleged abuse she once endured from a romantic partner—noting that for a long time, she believed she "deserved it."
"I was so full of shame," Jana wrote on Instagram Oct. 1. "I was made to feel like I had no one, and no one would believe me and that the reason I would be choked or hit was because I was bad."
The Michigan native paired her message with a throwback photo of her and her mom, Nora Kramer—and detailed what comes to mind when she sees that shot.
"I don't remember the excuses that I told people when I flew home to escape my abuser about the cuts and scrapes on my shoulder and arms, or why my ribs were hurting," Jana wrote. "But when I look at this photo that's all I see. I see a broken girl who was weeks prior pinned to the ground while the man that 'loved' me was strangling me saying that he was going kill me."
The singer’s post also included clips from her 2017 speech at Safe Horizon's 22nd Annual Champion Awards. At the time, Jana shared that her alleged abuser was an ex-husband of hers. (She has previously accused her first husband, Michael Gambino, of physical abuse. In 2005, he was convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to six years in prison. He was released in 2010 and died by suicide two years later.)
“It started with little comments here and there,” she said in her speech, without naming her abuser. “Then it started with more verbal abuse. And then it started with a push or a shove. And then it became a choke."
Ultimately, she felt as though she lost jobs because her performance in auditions was being affected by her situation.
"I was a girl full of light and full of energy and charm," she said in 2017. "And this man just broke me down to absolute nothing."
She added, "Once my abuser was in jail, I was finally able to be set free."
At the time, Jana shared her reasoning for discussing this deeply personal matter and the impact she hopes it will have.
"My manager is here tonight," Jana said. "I remember saying, 'I have a really important story that I want to tell' because I never understood why it happened to me but now knowing the platform that I have, I want to be able to be a voice."
Though she didn’t name anyone in her new Instagram post, Jana spoke out in 2016 about alleged physical abuse from ex-husband Michael Gambino, who she was married to in 2004.
“Ten years ago, I was in an abusive relationship. It was the worst time of my life,” she said on Dancing With the Stars. “He went to jail for attempted murder on me. It's been a very heavy secret to hold for so many years. The situation ten years ago broke me. It took having Jolie to piece together every single broken part of me."
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