Every rose has its thorn. No one knows that better than Colton Underwood.
On Wednesday, Dec. 15, the Bachelor Nation star and former NFL player, who came out as gay in April, talked to Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast about a variety of topics surrounding his sexuality and his recent Netflix series Coming Out Colton. He called being branded as "the Virgin Bachelor" during his season of the ABC show in 2019 a "spiderweb of lies" and revealed why his relationship with new boyfriend Jordan C. Brown is "healthier" than his past ones.
In the interview, Colton explained that he was so fearful his sexuality would be questioned by his teammates while he was playing football that he would change and shower separately.
"I wouldn't shower after practice because I was afraid of getting turned on in the locker room or in the shower," he said. "I never really was attracted to anybody who I played with, so it's sort of silly to even say that, but I wanted to avoid any chance of being outed so I would not shower with the rest of the team."
He added that he began experimenting sexually with other men "literally on my 21st birthday" but was adamant that he never cheated on anyone he was dating at the time while he was exploring his sexuality.
"I only hooked up with guys when I was single," he clarified. "When I was growing up and when I was going through all of that, I was making sure that I, at least, was trying to be as respectful not only to myself, but whoever I was involved with at the time."
When Colton was confirmed to be The Bachelor's leading man in 2019, he said, he was "terrified" that one of his past sexual encounters would potentially out him, especially as huge posters of his face began to sprout up around the country.
"There was a lot of anxiety and sleepless nights," he said. "I was very careful and, to be honest...a lot of the men that I'd hook up with were, I think, straight in their real life, too. They were all pretty closeted themselves."
But, he said, "I don't think there was any man that was going to be coming out to get me because they would be outing themselves as well. It wasn't like a ton of men. It was like a few, and they never had my real name… That's sort of how scared and secretive it all was."
When it came time for him to look for love on The Bachelor, Colton was labeled "the Virgin Bachelor," a title which he initially leaned into because it was "what the network was literally marketing me as," but he later grew to regret it.
"I just wish I would have been like, ‘I'm questioning my sexuality! Does that satisfy your answer of why I'm a virgin?'" he said. "I just didn't want to go there with women because I didn't know if this was in my cards. I had prayed and hoped and wished that it would be, but I didn't know. And there was just not that room… I don't know if it would have been well-received if I did."
Throughout his entire time as The Bachelor and while starring on the series' affiliated programs, Colton's virginity was a major conversational topic, with castmates often sharing their disbelief that he was truly a virgin.
Colton shared that his relationship with his current boyfriend, Jordan, has been "healthier" than the ones in his past.
"It's been healthier for sure, there's been no hitches," He said. "With women, I would always look for a way out or try to find an escape plan. I was planning everything out like, next step this, we need to be engaged by this week, we need to hopefully have kids by this year… That's truly how my relationships [went]."
Now, Colton says he's found "a best friend" in Jordan. "We just complement each other's lives and, it sounds so casual, but we're just hanging out. we're having a good time. There's no pressure."
"He's very defensive and protective of me," he said. "He also checks me on a lot of things, where he has helped also with the internalized homophobia too where he's like, ‘Wait, that's okay.' And I was like, ‘Oh, it is?' It's a really healthy balance."
Earlier this month, he revealed that Jordan has met his family, telling The New York Times that he's "very happy and very in love."