Four years and what feels like a whole lifetime later, Hugh Hefner's memory lives on thanks to Crystal Hefner.
During an exclusive interview with E! News' Daily Pop on Sept. 27—the four year anniversary of his death—the former Playboy bunny looked back on their love story, which began in 2009.
"It's only been four years but it does feel in a way like a lifetime ago," Crystal, who wed Hef in 2012, shared. "So much has happened since he's been gone, so I'm just thinking about all of that."
Crystal reflected on the "family" at the Playboy mansion that Hugh had fostered. "He was so humble and kind to everybody. He was so open and just shared his life with everyone and I think that's really special," the model, currently on vacation in the Maldives at the Soneva Hotel, explained. "He was so welcoming."
To him, his home—where Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and more lived—was an oasis. "Everyone could come in, leave their worries at the door and just have a great time," she continued. "I loved being there. It was really magical. It was something that could never be replicated again."
Though their romance was unconventional—he was 60 years her senior, plus she broke off their engagement just days before their first planned wedding—Crystal has a deep appreciation for their time together. "Hef always says he's an open book with illustrations, so I always try to stay pretty open and kind to everybody, like he was," she recalled. "He taught me so many things."
After his death in 2017, "I didn't know what to do," she said on Daily Pop. "My friend suggested, 'Let's get out of here, let's go on a trip,' so we went to Africa, and ever since, I've just been traveling and figuring out my life."
And now, following her "surreal" relationship with Hugh, Crystal has found it difficult to capture the same magic with a new partner. "It makes it hard dating now, because Hugh Hefner treated me so well and was so respectful and so kind to me," the 35-year-old explained. "I'm trying to match that now."
"My life was so connected to Hef for 10 years, so I'm still trying to find out who I am on my own," she added. "It's finding your identity again outside of the person because I think you need that to move forward."
Yet, Crystal confirmed she is dating again as of last year. "It's very new. We're here in the Maldives together. It's been really nice," Crystal hinted. "We also stopped in Egypt because he's half-Egyptian."
Watch the full interview above to hear more about Crystal's love life after loss.