Cheryl Burke is opening up about some of the struggles she faces to maintain her sobriety.
The Dancing With the Stars pro stopped drinking alcohol about three years ago, but admitted in a YouTube video on Tuesday, June 29, that "I feel like drinking again."
Cheryl, 37, explained, "I'm here to confess that lately staying sober has been a little bit of a challenge for me. And recently, I've been thinking a lot, I have to admit, about drinking again. So, I decided to hold myself accountable by confessing my anxious feelings."
She posted a teaser to Instagram, writing that it has been "hard" to stay sober. "To say that my sobriety has been easy would be a lie," she said. "When I keep secrets or don't tell my truth to everyone, including my followers, that's when it gets scary for me. So, thank you in advance for your encouraging words and love. It's a blessing to have a platform where I feel safe enough to let you all in on my story of this thing called life."
In the new sit-down video, Cheryl said that getting sober was a "huge turning point" in her life. She said she's never done a 12-step program but instead relied on her therapist of 10 years, whom she talks with two or three times a week. "I basically quit cold turkey, but to say I've never looked back would be a lie," the dancer noted.
She shared that she struggled during a trip to Hawaii with her husband, Mrs. Doubtfire actor Matthew Lawrence. "Us being in Hawaii, just that carefree feeling of being under the sun, my husband may have had a glass of champagne, my senses have come back even stronger," she recalled. "So, the smell of it I missed."
She added, "Missing out for that week while I was in Hawaii… it was like I was missing something."
In the past, alcohol was Cheryl's way of "numbing" her feelings of doubt, betrayal and uncertainty, she said. "Those for me are red flags, those are like run for the hills and numb," as she put it. "My go-to is booze, is anything that numbs and gets me out of my head."
Cheryl feels it's difficult to handle "so much chaos" going on in her life right now, without numbing it with a drink. "Now, for the first time, through all the chaos, I'm actually having to feel it," she confessed.
"God forbid something traumatic happens to me in the near future. That is something I don't know actually if I would be able to tell you 100 percent that I won't be able to drink," the former Dance Moms coach continued. "To even think about that right now makes me want to drink."
She vowed, "I am really committed to staying sober, and I know the first thing to do when you have those anxious feelings is to be able to talk about it… Some days can be harder than others. I know that my feelings are completely normal, so I'm trying not to feel shame or judge myself, but it's hard."
You can watch the full video, "My Honest Confession to You," above.