The Jon & Kate gang just keeps growing with new suspicious characters every day. We're up to 10 now.
When we left off yesterday, TLC reality show dad Jon Gosselin, 32, had already declared being just friends with 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. Then she told People the same story: They're just friends and she was only in his car outside a local bar at 2 a.m. because she's into cars. She just had to try out his Nissan.
Well, no one must have told Deanna's older brother and roommate Jason Hummel the Nissan friend story, because he's telling Us all kinds of shady details in their new cover story.
Jason says his third grade schoolteacher sister met Jon mid-January over $3 shots at Chill Bar in Reading, Penn.
From there, the relationship grew, especially when Jon first came over to Jason and Deanna's place in mid-February with a half-eaten box of pizza. True romance.
Over the three-month relationship/car-enthusiast friendship/whatever, Jon would come over to the Hummel house, and Deanna and the married father of eight would "pretty much stay locked away like two teenagers," Jason says. "It was weird. He's a grown man."
Now that's probably all Jason needed to say, we get the point, but in case someone out there doesn't know what two grown-ups might do locked away in a bedroom, Jason elaborates:
"A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um—how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who's, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast."
Total nast, but Jason had to get that out there because he says his sister "is a nice girl, not a homewrecker. [Jon] is a bad liar. This isn't healthy for her. But she is refusing to help herself, so here I am trying to help her myself. I hope this clears the air."
Blabbing to a celebrity tabloid always solves everyone's problems. Good thinking, best brother ever.
As for Kate and the couple's 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets, they'll be back on TLC for season five May 25. In a new interview with Entertainment Weekly, Kate says the new season won't cover this tabloid affair specifically.
"I think we will address the bigger picture, regarding the very public focus on our family and the stress it's caused in our relationship, but not necessarily any specific tabloid," she says.
And yeah, she's obviously more annoyed than usual with Jon, who stuck to his just-friends guns in the interview.
"Jon's poor judgment and irresponsible behavior has also without a doubt caused some added tension and stress between the two of us," she told the magazine.
Poor judgment, irresponsible behavior, tension and stress?! This might just be the best season of Jon & Kate Plus 8 ever.