Fresh off filing for divorce from husband Brooks Laich, triple threat Julianne Hough is opening up about a relationship that left her feeling "lost."
During an Instagram Live conversation with influence Valeria Lipovetsky on Nov. 10, the Rock of Ages actress talked about how living the high life with an ex, believed to be Ryan Seacrest, shaped what she wanted out of life and a career.
"It was 2013 and I had just gotten out of a relationship that was very high profile," she explained. "I was on private planes and yachts and living in a very, very well-off house and my life was pretty different from where I grew up."
She shared that she didn't feel like she had earned the luxuries she was enjoying, adding, "I had just gotten out of that relationship because I wanted to create that for myself because I kind of felt like I didn't deserve it."
Ryan and Julianne broke up in 2013 after two years of dating. At the time, insiders said that their work schedules were one of the reasons why they decided to split.
Julianne told Valeria that following the breakup she initially struggled with not having many friends her own age, as her ex was 15 years her senior.
Eventually, Julianne said she "met some girlfriends" and went with them to Coachella, where she "did some certain things that I am not proud of, but I was also like, ‘Get it girl!'"
Ultimately, the experience taught her to find balance.
"During that year, it was kind of my wild year of abandon and freedom and I realized that the pendulum swing went from one side to the extreme," she admitted. "I was like, 'OK, there's got to be something in the middle where I can find fulfillment without having to be so dynamic and extreme.'"
The former Dancing With the Stars judge married Brooks, a professional hockey player, in 2017. In 2019, Julianne told Women's Health she was doing lots of soul searching within her marriage, and revealed that she does not identify as straight.
"I was connecting to the woman inside that doesn't need anything, versus the little girl that looked to him to protect me," she said to the magazine. "I was like, 'Is he going to love this version of me?' But the more I dropped into my most authentic self, the more attracted he was to me. Now we have a more intimate relationship."
In January, after rumors suggested Julianne and Brooks were on the rocks, an insider told E! News, "They have been spending time apart but are not ready to share what's going on between them. They don't even really know what to call it. There's a ton of love and emotion there and they are going through something very personal."
Julianne and Brooks separated in May, though the two were spotted spending time together after their initial split. The Footloose star filed for divorce in November.