All of 30 Rock's Best Jokes

The long-running sitcom is coming to Peacock, NBC's new streaming service, so we're taking a look back at the show's funniest jokes.

By Kelsey Klemme Jul 17, 2020 3:00 PMTags
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Good god, Lemon!

As any fan of 30 Rock knows, the Emmy-winning sitcom has remained iconic in part because of the non-stop zingers and one-liners that filled every episode of the show.

It's also unsurprising that so many lines were so quotable since the series' writing staff was full of comedy powerhouses like Tina Fey, Robert Carlock, Donald Glover and more.

In honor of the show coming to Peacock, NBCU's new streaming service that just launched on July 15, we're rounding up our favorite jokes to have come out of the comedy.

Whether it was watching Jenna Maroney (played by Jane Krakowski) demand, "Listen up fives, a ten is speaking," or seeing Alec Baldwin's character Jack Donaghy pity Liz Lemon in the funniest way, we always found ourselves laughing after nearly line was delivered.

Check out the funniest jokes from the show's many hilarious actors below, from characters like Tracy Morgan's Tracy Jordan and of course Jack McBrayer's Kenneth, the NBC page.

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Liz Lemon (Tina Fey)

Our favorite woman who definitely does not have-it-all, Liz Lemon is always hilarious as she deals with her insane co-workers and navigating her love life.

  • "Lovers? Oh, that word bums me out unless it's between meat and pizza."
  • "Really? I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?"
  • "There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory!"
  • "I did Big Sister in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons."
Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin)

The Kable Town CEO has some of the best one-liners in the whole series, from always staying classy to pitying Liz Lemon.

  • Liz: "Why are you wearing a tux?" / Jack: "It's after 6. What am I, a farmer?"
  • (To Liz) ""Dating is like your haircut. Sometimes awkward triangles occur."
  • "Well, it's business drunk, it's like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive."
  • "Never go with a hippie to a second location."
  • "Good God, Lemon!"
Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski)

Jenna Maroney is truly an icon, and her diva attitude is all the more fun thanks to her clever one-liners and celebrity name-dropping that will make any pop culture fan laugh.

  • "Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking!"
  • "Okay, I'll do it, but only for the attention."
  • "My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up after that shoot, so I called him and I was like 'OJ [Simpson], where are you?' And he was like, 'Wait, you're alive? Then who did I kill?'"
  • "Your new vibe is a double edged sword. Much like the one Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with."
  • "Oh don't be so dramatic. That's my thing, and if you take it away from me I will kill myself... and then you."
  • "Cam-er-ah."
Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan)

TGS' newest cast member is full of zingers that are ridiculous, hilarious and never fail to make us laugh.

  • "I'll never change. I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard!"
  • "They took my mood ring and I don't know how I feel about that."
  • "Where are the French fries I did not ask for? You people need to anticipate me!"
  • "What is this? Horseville? Cause I'm surrounded by naysayers!"
  • "I once saw a pack of wild dogs take over and successfully run a Wendy's."
Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer)

NBC's most dedicated page has a lot of great jokes, including alluding to his dark past but with such a smile, you almost don't realize how twisted he is.

  • "I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name!"
  •  "When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat."
  • "I don't like to swear, sir, but, no, thank you."
  • Jack: "A word, Kenneth" / Kenneth: "Balloon!"
  • "My favorite subject was science, especially the Old Testament."
The TGS and Kable Town Staff

The beauty of 30 Rock is that every character has funny lines, including the various support staff members for TGS' show.

  • "You guys should go to Aquarium. It's this new nightclub where all the women are in a glass room in the center of the dance floor and the guys just watch and feed them." - Cerie (Katrina Bowden)
  • "This job is starting to get to me. Lately, I've been shoplifting just to feel in control. Because no one knows I took the candy bar. No one but Peter." - Pete (Scott Adsit)
  • "Hey Liz, we're out of string cheese, so I'm gonna head out." - Frank (Judah Friedlander)
  • (On trying to out-match Jack's gift-giving) "I tried once! I bought him a $90 bottle of olive oil... in exchange, he got my sister out of a North Korean jail!" - Jonathan (Maulik Pancholy)
Liz's Boyfriends

Liz had many questionable boyfriends, but one thing they all had in common was making us laugh.

  • "You want to know a little pilot secret, besides the fact that we get a discount at Sunglass Hut? The "half hour" thing, it's a trick. It's enough time so that people know they're going to have to wait, but it doesn't upset them." - Carol (Matt Damon)
  • "Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried. If it was up to me, we'd be together forever. But there's a new thing called 'women's liberation,', which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter's rights." - Dennis Duffy (Dean Winters)
  • (To Liz) "Let's go to the steakhouse you threw up in." - Floyd (Jason Sudeikis)
Dr. Leo Spaceman (Chris Parnell)

One of 30 Rock's best recurring characters, Dr. Leo Spaceman is allegedly an excellent doctor, but based on what he says, his skills seem dubious at best.

  • "Science is whatever we want it to be."
  • (Pointing to his bloody white coat) "What, this? No, no, no. I was at a costume party, and the host's dog bit me. So, I had to stab it."
  • "Unfortunately, there is no field of science that deals with the brain, but I can give you this pamphlet for a cult!"
  • "Liz, I believe doctor-patient confidentiality is a two-way street. I'm cheating on my wife."

(E!, NBC and Peacock are all part of the NBCUniversal family.)

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