Hello and welcome to the Barb Show. All Barb, all the time. The Barbchelor. Will you accept this Barb?
Peter Weber's mother Barbra Weber truly stole the show both nights of The Bachelor's insane roller coaster of a finale because she was not afraid to let her opinions be very, very known. She loves Hannah Ann. She does not love Madison. It is not clear how she feels about her son at this juncture, but she certainly disapproved of his choices when it came to dumping Hannah Ann, who she loves, and pursuing something with Madison, who she does not love.
Part two of the finale really did its best to highlight as much Barb as possible, with a little Barb cam in the corner of the screen. Sure, sometimes it showed Hannah Ann's reactions, or occasionally Peter's, but most of the time, it was for Barb. And we loved it, even if we're still a little weirded out after feeling like we watched a family fall apart on live TV, and even if we just generally felt very weird about the whole thing.
However, just because Barb got a lot of screentime, she's not the one we'd declare the MVP of that finale. That title actually goes to Hannah Ann, who handled a messy breakup like a pro and truly tore Peter apart for the way he treated her amidst his remaining feelings for Madison.
Here are just a few of the biggest WTF/OMG moments we couldn't get over from that two night finasco.
Hannah Ann's meeting with Peter's family was fine. Just fine! They liked her well enough. She was very charming. Barb felt like she knew her forever. But we never could have known at this point just how big of an impression this girl made on this family.
It seemed as if Madison might not even make it to meet the Webers, because she was still so mad about Peter sleeping with his other girlfriends. He tried to explain how he felt, but Madison was standing her ground. Then she started talking about how she's a fighter, and Peter seemed ridiculously into it. "Tell me more," he said. Suddenly he was "all smiles," and it was like it was all fixed. Maybe Madi should have walked away right here...
Barb and Pete Sr. had some serious questions for Madi as well. They're extremely concerned that this deeply religious girl with her high standards and emotional needs and expectations is going to change their boy, and we wouldn't have blamed Madi for being like, k, bye to this family then and there. "At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it?" Madi said of all the hardships. "When you find the right person, it is," said Barb. In other words, her son ain't that right person.
Peter's little brother Jack was asking the real questions: Could Peter really wait until marriage to have sex with Madison? Would Madison really be OK if Pete comes home from a flight and goes line dancing? It was a ridiculous convo but some practical things to wonder about.
Never have we seen a family so against one pick and so obsessed with another, while the lead is so completely caught off guard. Pete's family really, really doesn't want him to choose Madison, but he's adamant they don't know Madi the way he does
Let's just be honest: Pete's mom Barbra stole the whole show with her tearful, "Don't let her go! Bring her home to us!" Turns out she was talking about Hannah Ann, after meeting and fully disapproving of Madison and her ultimatums. You can think what you want about Barb manipulating her son, but you have to admit she's a star.
We saw it coming, since Madison certainly did not seem as in love with Peter as he did with her, and also because of the whole sex thing, but it was still a little shocking to see how reasonably she handled the break up. Sure, at some point she's coming back, but this was the most reasonable move anyone's made in several episodes.
There was so much going on and so much drama to keep track of but for several blissful minutes, even as Peter's mind was tormenting him, we had these baby kangaroos to gaze upon. They saved us. Thank you, baby kangaroos.
Hannah Ann almost dodged the bullet when she contemplated just not going to the proposal, and instead just laying flat on her bed in her fancy dress. She chose the wrong thing, in the end.
"I don't need anything more from you," she told Pete after he told her he just couldn't give her his whole heart. She gave the ring back and refused to let him speak, because why should she if she couldn't trust anything he had already said? Boy bye.
Pete tried to lean into the car to get one last word in, and Hannah Ann put up her hand. Absolutely not, sir.
Hannah Ann was given the last word on stage, and she used it. "If you want to be with a woman, you need to become a real man." Mic drop.
Barb's feelings throughout the episode were made clear via the Barb cam, which showed her live reactions during the footage. Claps and cheers for Hannah Ann, but for Madison, she could barely even raise her eyes, though she could occasionally roll them.
Barb explained that we didn't see a lot of things on screen, including Madison making them wait for three hours and telling her she didn't really love Peter, while Hannah Ann was a literal angel. And we thought this was bad...
Barb claimed that everyone in Peter's life knew it wasn't going to work, and "he's going to have to fail to succeed." Pete Sr. then chimed in, saying this relationship has an awful lot of obstacles right at the beginning to believe it's going to make it. Whoops.
Peter and Madison decided not to officially date, but they're just going to see where things go, one day at a time. So nice for them. Good luck, kids. You're gonna need it.
The Bachelor airs on ABC.