Why YouTuber Manny MUA Can't Help But "Cringe" at His Dramageddon Apology Video

YouTuber Manny MUA is opening up about Dramageddon and his greatest lessons from the controversy. Find out why he’s hesitant to watch the apology videos.

By Mike Vulpo Feb 05, 2020 8:51 PMTags

The Internet can be both a beautiful and critical place.

While YouTuber Manny MUA has found great success as the "Boy Beauty Vlogger," the Lunar Beauty CEO has also found himself involved with some Internet drama.

Many fans will remember Dramageddon, which was a feud among vloggers centered around Manny's former BFF Jeffree Star.

The public drama came at a time when Manny was at the top of his game. For starters, he was on Forbes' 30 Under 30 list and was serving as Maybelline's first ever male ambassador. But in a new interview with Justin Sylvester, the Youtuber is ready to reflect on all the headlines.

"When you are soaring in the clouds and you're like nothing can bring me down, you're kind of like in your own zone or your own world and your own fantasy," Manny shared exclusively on the E! News' digital series Just the Sip. "But when something knocks you back down, you go, ‘Maybe I should have done this, this and this.' I can start soaring again but now I can implement these different changes and make it even better for me."

He continued, "When I look back on it, it was the hardest time I've ever had in my whole life when it comes to my professional career in any way, shape or form. I was like in bed for weeks. I lost so much weight and I was in such a severe dark depression."

Chelsea Lauren/WWD/REX/Shutterstock

During the drama, Manny lost close to half a million followers. To this date, he's still hoping they come back.  He also delivered an apology video that remains difficult to watch.

"I was definitely, definitely remorseful but I was also taking anti-anxiety medication at the time. When I watch those videos, I cringe a little bit because they're not my genuine, real emotion coming through because I'm on these emotion blockers," he explained. "Watching them, I know the things I'm saying are true but the way I'm saying it, I can understand why it doesn't come off as genuine because my true emotion isn't coming through because I'm on these blockers."

To this day, Manny is surprised at how big of a deal everything became. "It was a misconstrued situation in the first place so how did it become what it became?" he shared with Justin.

But through it all, Manny says there are countless lessons he's so grateful to have learned.

"Looking back, yah it was terrible and horrible and horrendous but the things I learned from it, I would never give those back," he shared.

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