Beyoncé Shares How Miscarriages Taught Her to Embrace "Pain and Loss"

Superstar Beyoncé is answering personal questions sent in from her beloved fans. Find out what the singer shared about family, loss and much more.

By Jess Cohen Dec 09, 2019 3:29 PMTags

Beyoncé is sharing a very personal story with her fans.

The superstar singer, who has kids Blue Ivy Carter, Sir Carter and Rumi Carter with husband Jay-Z, took part in a candid Q&A with her beloved fans for her Elle cover story, released Monday. In the "Ask Me Anything" interview, Bey was asked about awards, and if she was "disappointed" after losing out on awards for her album, Lemonade, as well as her concert film, Homecoming.

"I began to search for deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn't know I needed," Bey replied to the question. "Success looks different to me now. I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift."

"Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else. Then I had Blue, and the quest for my purpose became so much deeper," she continued. "I died and was reborn in my relationship, and the quest for self became even stronger. It's difficult for me to go backwards."

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The 38-year-old star added that being "number one" was no longer her "priority."

"My true win is creating art and a legacy that will live far beyond me," Bey shared. "That's fulfilling."

Bey also opened up to her fans about balancing work and her personal life, which she said is the "most stressful thing" for her.

"Making sure I am present for my kids—dropping Blue off at school, taking Rumi and Sir to their activities, making time for date nights with my husband, and being home in time to have dinner with my family—all while running a company can be challenging," the Ivy Park co-founder said. "Juggling all of those roles can be stressful, but I think that's life for any working mom."

Melina Matsoukas/Elle

The "Spirit" singer, who just received2020 Golden Globes nomination for her Lion King song, also talked to her fans about self-care. In response to a question about how she takes care of herself, Bey referenced the name of her brand, Ivy Park.

"The name of the brand comes from where I built my strength and endurance as a young woman. I ran and trained in the park, and that state of mind has stayed with me all these years later," she explained. "It's the first place where I learned to listen to my body. Many of us grew up seeing our parents act as if they were superheroes. Most women have been conditioned to ignore symptoms and just 'tough it out' and focus on taking care of everyone else before themselves. I am no longer one of those people."

Melina Matsoukas/Elle

"After having a difficult pregnancy, I took a year to focus on my health," she continued. "I have researched information on homeopathic medicines. I don't just put any prescription in my body. My diet is important, and I use tools like acupuncture, meditation, visualization, and breathing exercises."

As for whether fans would see her at a supermarket or a Target store, Bey shared, "The last time I went to a supermarket, it was more like a bodega before a Madonna concert. Jay and I snuck into one in Crenshaw and bought some Cuervo and Funyuns chips. And…y'all know you see me at Target and I see y'all trying to sneak pics."

And when it comes to the one questions he absolutely hates, that would be: "Are you pregnant? Get off my ovaries!"

To read more from Bey's interview, head on over to Elle! The Jan. 2020 issue of Elle is on newsstands Dec. 17.

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