Dancing With the Stars Voting Makes No Sense

Dancing With the Stars voting is open only during the live show, and closes immediately after the last dance, leading us to wonder what exactly we're voting for.

By Lauren Piester Oct 22, 2019 2:45 AMTags
Dancing With the Stars, Season 28ABC

Several things are true about Dancing With the Stars this season. 

First of all, most of the cast is very, very good. There are multiple frontrunners, multiple ties for highest score most weeks, and we've got no clue who's going to win this thing. 

Second of all, having the judges decide which of the bottom two couples go home is absolutely, 100% an improvement on how it used to work, with votes and scores combining to just send someone home with no judge input, which is how talented dancing stars were sent home ridiculously early in the past. 

Third of all, politics, stardom level, and popularity are fully irrelevant when it comes to dancing ability, which is related to the fact that controversial contestant Sean Spicer (whose role as White House press secretary arguably does not make him a star) is by far the worst dancer still on the show. If he landed in the bottom two with any other couple, he would be sent home. That's simply a fact. 

Fourth, all but one of the contestants (Sailor Brinkley Cook) who have landed in the bottom two so far have been people of color. 

Now that all that has been said, we are declaring that Dancing With the Stars voting is a mess. 


Voting begins at the beginning of the show, with a separate number and hashtag for each couple. It ends right after the last dance, which means we're not even pretending we're voting for the dances themselves, because if that were true, the couple who danced that final dance would be in danger every single week, since there's barely any time to vote for them.  

Plus, the West Coast can't even vote when the show is airing on the West Coast! If West Coasters want to vote, they have to vote for dances they don't get to watch for another three hours! 

Contestants are begging fans to vote before the show has even begun, which begs the question of what the voting is even for. Is it just a popularity contest? A contest of Instagram followers? A contest for who begged for votes the most? A contest for who added the option as a "swipe up" more often?

(For the record, Ally Brooke has the most Instagram followers, followed by Karamo Brown, then Hannah Brown. Sean Spicer has the least of the remaining contestants.) 

James Van Der Beek's Kids Adorably Reenact His Dancing With the Stars Performance

The show has always been a bit of a popularity contest, but this is so blatant that it makes us wonder what the point of the show even is. Is it to find the best celebrity dancer, or just the most popular b- or c-list celeb? Is it just to see who can tell the most emotional story? Is it to prove White House press secretaries can also be stars? Is it to tell the world who people like Bobby Bones are? 

It was Sailor Brinkley Cook who went home tonight, after she landed in the bottom two long with Ally Brooke—a frontrunner if we had to declare one. But Sailor also tied for highest score of the night and was in the top four on the leaderboard for the past two weeks, meaning it makes no sense for her to have gone home tonight. But it also didn't make sense for Ally to go home, or for anyone besides Sean to leave. 

Once Sean Spicer is gone, then it will really be anyone's game at any time (if Karamo Brown can keep up what he achieved this week—if not, he's likely the next one to go), which is when it might as well become a popularity contest after all, since the scores themselves can only go up so high. 

Anyway, here we are, thinking too hard about Dancing With the Stars, wondering how we got here and whether our lives have any meaning at all. 

Please see below for updates on how everyone is doing. If you'd like to know how we're doing, the answer is "not great, Bob." 

Winner: Hannah Brown and Alan Bersten

Who is she? She was just the star of The Bachelorette!

How's she doing? She won! In the finale, she got a 28 out of 30 and then a perfect score, for a total of 58 out of 60 and the win. 

Previous scores: 20, 24, 21, 32 (out of 40), 25, 24, 52 (out of 60), 31 (out of 32), 71 (out of 80), 54 (out of 60)

2nd Place: Kel Mitchell and Witney Carson

Who is he? An actor and comedian, known for Good Burger and for being the Kel half of Kenan and Kel

How's he doing? In the finale, he got a perfect score 

Previous scores: 16, 20, 20, 32 (out of 40), 26, 26, 52 (out of 60), 30 (out of 32), 74 (out of 80), 57 (out of 60)

3rd Place: Ally Brooke and Sasha Farber

Who is she? A singer and member of Fifth Harmony. 

How's she doing? She ended her time on DWTS with two perfect scores, a 60 out of 60. 

Previous scores: 16, 20, 24, 32 (out of 40), 27, 25, 54 (out of 60), 30 (out of 32), 80 (out of 80), 59 (out of 60)

4th Place: Lauren Alaina and Gleb Savchenko

Who is she? She's a country music star, and was the runner-up on season 10 of American Idol

How's she doing? In the finale, she got a 27 out of 30, and then a perfect score for her freestyle, for a total of 57 out of 60.

Previous scores: 19, 19, 20, 32 (out of 40), 23, 26, 54 (out of 60), 24 (out of 32), 70 (out of 80), 54 (out of 60)

ELIMINATED: James Van Der Beek and Emma Slater

Who is he? Actor, best known as Dawson from Dawson's Creek

How's he doing? In an emotional week 10, James got a 24 and a 27, giving him a total of 51 out of 60 and unfortunately putting him at the back of the pack, and he was eliminated one week away from the finale. 

Previous scores: 21, 20, 23, 28 (out of 40), 26, 27, 54 (out of 60), 32 (out of 32), 72 (out of 80)

ELIMINATED: Sean Spicer and Lindsay Arnold

Who is he? He's the former White House press secretary. 

How's he doing? He got a 26 and a 24 for his dances in week nine, giving him a total of 50 out of 80, which unsurprisingly sent him home. 

Previous scores: 12, 16, 15, 21 (out of 40), 19, 21, 42 (out of 60), 20 (out of 32)

ELIMINATED: Kate Flannery and Pasha Pashkov

Who is she? An actress and comedian, best known as Meredith on The Office

How's she doing: Pretty good, though she's a bit up and down. She got a 24 for her individual dance in week eight, after nearly going home in week seven, then got two more points when she beat Sean in the dance off, giving her a 26. But then she was sadly eliminated. 

Previous scores: 15, 21, 24, 26 (out of 40), 24, 27, 48 (out of 60)

ELIMINATED: Karamo Brown and Jenna Johnson

Who is he? The culture expert on Queer Eye and a former star of The Real World

How's he doing? Not too bad, before he was eliminated. Halloween week gave him a score of 25, plus a team dance score of 24, for a total of 49 out of 60.

Previous scores: 17, 19, 16, 28 (out of 40), 21, 25

ELIMINATED: Sailor Brinkley-Cook and Val Chmerkovskiy

Who is she? The daughter of supermodel Christie Brinkley, who broke her arm ahead of the first episode and was replaced by her model daughter. 

How's she doing? After week three, she added a score of 23. After a week four score of 31 out of 40, her combined score was 54 out of 70. As Cinderella in week five, she got a 24 out of 30, and in week six, she tied for first place with a 27. 

ELIMINATED: Lamar Odom and Peta Murgatroyd

Who is he? He's a former NBA forward (and former husband of Khloe Kardashian). 

How's he doing? After week two, he was in last place with a total of 23. In week three, he was in last place with a 12. In week four, he was in last place with a 20, giving him a total combined score for those two weeks of 32 out of 70. After ending up in the bottom two with Karamo Brown, Lamar was eliminated in week four. 

ELIMINATED: Ray Lewis and Cheryl Burke

Who is he? He's a former NFL linebacker. 

How's he doing? After week two, he was in third to last place with a total of 30. He had to withdraw in week three due to an injury. 

ELIMINATED: Mary Wilson and Brandon Armstrong

Who is she? She's in The Supremes! 

How's she doing? She was eliminated in week two, though she was definitely not the worst of the bunch with a total of 32. 

Dancing With the Stars airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC. 

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