ABCApparently, in Latvia, they like to bungee jump naked.
We did google this and apparently it is actually a thing in Latvia, or at least it was in a video from 2014, and tonight, we saw Hannah and Garrett enjoy this fascinating tradition. They were both totally terrified, but they decided to bite the bullet and do it anyway. They both ended up having a great time, and then had a really good conversation at dinner afterwards.
Garrett then got back to the hotel and shared the story of the wild date he and Hannah just had, as you would if you just went naked bungee jumping. And just in case anyone was thinking it was disrespectful of him to share that, Hannah offered up the same story during her group date the next day. They wanted to share the insane experience they just had! That is reasonable!
Where all that went wrong, of course, was when Luke heard of this date. Hannah getting naked with another guy (who she is also dating, just as much as if not more than she's dating Luke) was a "slap in the face" to Luke.
After a delightful group date, during which Hannah was having an amazing, drama-free time drinking moonshine and eating cheese, Luke sat down with her to share something important that she wasn't going to like. He said he felt as if she had cheated on him, and that hearing Garrett "blurt out a bunch of stuff" about the date was "hard for [him] to receive."
"It's just because I know that your body is a temple and honestly, like, I'm just thinking of you holding him bare-skinned and I'm just thinking in my mind like...it really pissed me off. I mean, it really frustrated me."
"I had a choice, what I wanted to do," she said. "And I know where my heart was in it, and it wasn't in a sexual way. It was in an experience that I wanted to have for myself."
"Right, but at the same time, I'm looking for you to meet my family soon, and I felt like it was a slap in the face," he responded. "But no matter what you do, like I'm going to support you. Even if you make a boneheaded mistake and you just do something completely out of your character and something that's wrong, I'm going to do whatever it is to make things right. I'm in this, and we're gonna work through this together and I'm not worried about it."
Don't you just feel a chill in your bones?! Hannah didn't say much in response to this at the time, but it turned out she was just processing what had been said to her.
Later, she asked to talk to Luke privately and confronted him about this incredibly disrespectful conversation, stating his words back to him and telling him how badly he handled that, and he tried to claim every single one of them was taken out of context. They weren't, at least based on what we saw.
Anyway, even as we wrote earlier that we should give Hannah a break for keeping this guy around (just because she's got an inexplicable attraction she's got to work through before she can move on from him), the fact that Luke then got a rose was once again baffling.
"I have had sex and honestly, Jesus still loves me" cannot come soon enough!
And in Jed news, if what we saw in tonight's episode had aired last week, we would have thought very differently about it. Very, very differently. But in light of the news that he allegedly had a girlfriend right up until the moment he got on the plane to be on the show, we're really struggling with Jed in general.
After Hannah had a very sexy one-on-one with Peter the Pilot, Jed suddenly couldn't take it anymore. He then appeared outside her window playing the guitar, and she invited him in. He sang her a song about how skin-to-skin isn't a sin, and then she moved the guitar away and made out with him, which is where we left them before the show cut to the next day.
Suddenly, Jed was no longer such a good musician. Suddenly, that move, which would have been romantic last week, felt extra shady with a side of producer manipulation (which would have had to happen in order for him to get to her hotel room with his guitar). Suddenly, Jed feels like a villain worse than Luke, because at least Luke obviously sucks, while Jed's been doing his best to seem like the perfect man.
Of course, all accusations against Jed are alleged, but he had already admitted to Hannah that he originally joined the show to promote his music, and look at him, still promoting music. It's not good music at this point, but it is music.
We just want the best for Hannah and currently she's getting only the worst, aside from those makeout sessions with Pilot Pete and that bouquet of flowers from Tyler C.
Speaking of which, let's rank the remaining dudes!
Tyler C. is officially our favorite, on and off screen. His Twitter account is delightful. His Instagram is delightful. He chooses his words to Luke very carefully. He loved that Hannah was down for naked bungee jumping, even if it wasn't with him, because he likes that she makes her own decisions. He brought her a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the group date. If Hannah doesn't end up with Tyler C., we will be first in the line that will surely form (if he's not the next Bachelor).
Well hot damn Peter the Pilot. That sauna date was indecently sexy, and Hannah and Peter just look so comfortable together. He seems fun, they have fun together, and we're very much on board with Pilot Pete.
Garrett jumped to the forefront of the Luke situation last week, but this week he made up for it with a jump of a different kind. Even though they were absolutely terrified, he and Hannah went naked bungee jumping, and then had a really good conversation over dinner.
Then the Luke drama unfolded over that naked bungee jumping, but Garrett kept his cool as best he could in the face of a man who was not keeping his cool.
Mike's still there, still in the game, doing his best in the midst of all the Luke, still smiling that heart-melting smile.
Connor is still there, but he's barely spoken for weeks. We actually had to rewind the episode a couple of times to actually make sure he was physically still there.
Ohhhh Jed. Jed was doing so well, and still is on screen. Off screen...it appears he was perhaps even worse than Scott, the guy who Hannah dramatically threw out in the premiere for having a girlfriend. Jed allegedly had a girlfriend for four months before the show, and just wanted to promote his music career. Looks like he left that out of his little confession to Hannah about the music!
Onscreen this week, he really pulled out all the stops, even appearing at Hannah's window to sing her a song. He was then in Hannah's bed singing her a song, until she slowly pulled that guitar away...But can we just be honest and say Jed's made up song about Riga there at the end was the best he's ever sounded?
"You going naked bungee jumping with Garrett felt like a slap in the face...but I just want you to know that I will support you even when you make boneheaded decisions" is basically the speech Luke thought was going to win him a date rose.
This man continues to impress with just how boneheaded he is. And yet he still ended up with a rose.
Dylan seems great and has a pretty fun fashion sense, but he was very much on the sidelines throughout the season. We hope to see more of Dylan in the future.
Dustin seems like a really nice guy who got to say maybe two words the entire season, which is unfortunate but not unusual this season. Maybe he can secure a spot in Paradise to prove he's a really nice guy?
Kevin's two standout moments this season: Getting mysteriously injured during rugby, and accidentally discovering Hannah in Jed's lap in the castle. And now he is no more.
Grant is still just the unemployed guy who brought a hotdog to the mansion on night one, and now he's gone. Bye, Grant.
Devin, you never once made an impression and that is really too bad. We don't even know what "situation" Luke was referring to with you and Dylan. Good luck to you, Devin.
Luke S. didn't deserve this but he's probably got a bright future in Paradise. Hopefully his sacrifice was worth it and Luke P. will soon be gone.
John Paul Jones was only ever John Paul Jones, nothing more and nothing less. We will miss him. And if he's not in Paradise there will be a revolt. We need more John! Paul! Jones!
We are so, so disappointed that Matteo never even spoke, let alone got to tell Hannah about the fact that he's fathered 114 children via sperm donor. What a letdown that fun fact was.
Jonathan is really going to have to step it up if he wants us to remember anything about him!
We still don't remember Joey, so either he got very little screen time or we've confused him with one of the other guys who looks exactly like him.
Why Cam got a rose in episode two after all his barging in is beyond us, and why Cam wasn't immediately sent home after losing it on Mike is equally beyond us, but Hannah came to her senses in episode three.
Our new catchphrase? NBC. Never. Be. Cam.
That said, there's no way that guy doesn't show up in Paradise.
Tyler G. got the first one-on-one date of the season, which involved a helicopter ride and four-wheelers in the mud. He and Hannah seemed to have a fine time but Tyler G. made no impression on us whatsoever, and then Hannah announced that he had to leave. So bye Tyler G!
Au revoir, Connor J.
Could not tell you a single thing Matthew did or said.
Goodbye Daron. We hardly knew ye. In fact, we didn't know ye at all.
Hannah really likes his name and the paper airplane was a really cute choice. If only he weren't immediately shown up by Peter in his actual pilot's uniform, maybe he would have gotten a rose!
Ryan rolled up on roller skates and then rolled right out of there into the night. :(
Matt Donald didn't get a rose. We feel sad for Matt Donald?? Seems like Matt Donald might have a future in Paradise...
Goodbye, Thomas. We hardly knew ye.
Maybe if Brian had calmed down on the caffeine he would have been able to stick around.
Poor Hunter failed to make an impression on Hannah or us.
JOE SELLS BOXES. JOE LOVES BOXES. JOE CAN MAKE ANY TYPE OR SIZE OF BOX. JOE JUMPS OUT OF BOXES. And yet Hannah made the better "package" joke before he could even unbox himself, and so she sent him home.
Scott was the guy who once ran around a mall food court like a "flying chicken" according to his bio, and he got out of the limo
He then straight up ruined that cocktail party with his girlfriend from Monday. He could have just left it alone, but then he compared his having a girlfriend on Monday to Hannah having just dated Colton on a TV show. It was a bad move, and Scott is currently losing the most. Good going, Scott.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.