Jill Duggar, Derick Dillard

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Jill Duggaris sharing her tips for how to keep the "fire" alive in your marriage... and your bedroom. 

The 28-year-old may be young, but she has learned a lot about marriage in the five years that she and Derick Dillard have been united in holy matrimony. So, the mother-of-two is revealing her beliefs on how to create a sustainable marriage on the Dillard family blog.

First and foremost in the lessons she has learned is the importance of having sex at least "3-4 times a week," and that's just what she considers to be a "good start" for beginners. She adds that when there are "seasons of difficulty" regarding sexual activity, she recommends finding "other ways to have fun and be intimate."

However, Jill notes that people should refrain from "fulfilling sexual desires alone." This should not be difficult for those who follow her first tip, which is to "let your spouse know that you're always available."

If any of this sounds difficult to achieve, the former reality star says a doctor or licensed counselor can help. 

Moreover, good ole' prayer can work wonders, according to Jill. "Pray and fast for your husband. Ask him how you can pray for him and let him know when you do (e.g. send him text messages &/or write a little note)." This can be particularly helpful after taking the 5 Love Languages quiz that Jill recommends, so you can determine the best way to show your husband he is loved. 

And Jill truly emphasizes the idea that small things can make a big difference in the bedroom. For example, she warns against wearing "frumpy pjs" and going to bed without wearing makeup. "Make sure that a few times a week you enjoy time together looking like you would hanging out when you were dating," Jill suggests. "Plus, even if you work from home, just getting fixed up in the morning can give you a boost to your day!"

Jill Duggar, Derick Dillard

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And if that doesn't do the trick then she suggests "putting on fragrant lotion in front of him." According to Jill, this is another way of showing, "'I care' and 'you're important to me,' and lets him know you're up for fun whenever he is."

When you're not in the bedroom, Jill says it's a good idea to "look for ways to praise him directly and in front of others!" You can also "call him by a fun or sweet name," which you can even use as his contact name on your phone. And, remember, "Don't forget to use emojis!"

Plus, the 28-year-old emphasizes the need to make him feel secure in his manhood. For example, if you're cleaning or watching your kids when your husband walks in the door, she says it's a good idea to "stop whatever you're doing at the time when he arrives." That way you can give Jill's recommended 6-second kiss as soon as he steps inside the door. She says that doing all this helps to make sure he "feels respected."

The more you know!

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