Hilary Duff is once again keeping it real.
Typically forthcoming about the unpredictable road of motherhood, the actress did not surprise when she took to social media with an in-depth announcement: she had decided to stop breastfeeding her 6-month-old daughter, Banks.
"Last week was my last week nursing Ban," she shared with more than 11 million Instagram followers. "I am a working mom of two. My goal was to get my little girl to six months and then decide if I (and her of course) wanted to keep going. Let me tell you. Pumping at work sucks. I had zero down time and am usually pumping in a hair and make up trailer while four hands work to get me ready for the next scene with lots of other people around."
Duff continued, "Even if I had the luxury to be in my own room, it's not even considered a 'break' because you have to sit upright for the milk to flow into the bottles! Plus you are having your damn nipples tugged at by an aggressive machine that makes an annoying sound, that echoes through your head day and night (I swear that machine and I had many conversations at midnight and 3 am)! Ttttthen having to find someplace to sterilize bottles and keep your milk cold."
Duff also explained how she dealt with the her milk supply dropping with less frequent contact with her daughter as a result of work. "I was eating all the feunugreek [sic] goats butt blessed thistle fennel cookies/drops/shakes/pills I could get my hands on! It was maddening," she recalled.
However, the star also acknowledged the joys of breastfeeding, writing, "I want to say I enjoyed (almost) every moment of feeding my daughter. Felt so lucky to be so close to her and give her that start. I know many women are not able to and for that I am sympathetic and very grateful that I could. For six wonderful months. But I needed a break. I was going to break."
The candid star shared the frustration she felt as her daughter lost interest. "I was sad and frustrated and feeling like a failure all of the time. When really I'm a bad ass rock star. Moms get high on feeling like superwoman...because we are! Doing too much, because we can! But somehow stuck on the feeling we can always do a little more!"
As she bid farewell to her nursing bras, Duff closed on an empowering note to all the fellow mamas out there.
"We are strong as hell over-achievers. I am amazed at all that we can do in one single day! That goes for myself, my mom friends, my mom, or my sister!" the actress said. "I wanted to share this because deciding to stop BFing was so emotional and hard. I thought about it ALL day everyday. It was a constant loop in my head. Weighing the pros and cons. And half of the time I wasn't making any sense. It was about me, and not Banks at that point."
For Duff, the decision was not an easy one, emotionally or physically. "I cried many times and felt so depressed while weening. I wasn't myself at all. Something scary was hovering over my brain and my heart...the part of me that I know is smart and rational. The lows felt horrible. I was missing good time with my baby. But I was really missing that natural oxytocin high. Those chemicals are powerful hormones and no joke," she continued. "I am happy to say that I haven't fed or pumped in three days and it's crazy how fast you can come out on the other side. I feel fine and happy and relieved and silly that I even stressed on it so hard. Banks is thriving and I get even more time with her and daddy gets to do more feeds! And mommy gets a tiny bit more sleep!"
"Whether you are pre or postpartum. Or just a busy mom, You are a [superhero] everyday for all that you do," she signed off. "Always putting yourself last and running a mile a minute...while carrying all of the bags."